12 weeks.

I feel like I've just caught my breathe after a 3 month whirlwind. I didn't have trouble adjusting to having a baby but I've had trouble being Laura-with-a-baby. I just found myself now I think. I hope I'm here to stay for a while!

Autumn is a gem. She makes funny noises, she smiles and drools, she sleeps a few hours at night, she laughs in her sleep but not when she's awake. We can't wait for her to laugh when she's awake. Goodness knows we're trying our hardest, being our silliest to make that happen. We love her. She won't take a binky, looks gorgeous in yellow, growls and is kicking all the time, loves to fall asleep to rain sounds, hates lying down and tries really hard to sit up. I can't get enough of her.

I was very worried about post partum depression mostly because although we've been in California for a couple of years it's still quite unfamiliar to me and I don't know many people here. Turns out that if you know only a couple of people and they're the right people, you're golden. They're golden. Golden treasures and I love them.

Having a new baby is pretty exhausting with the physical recovery - goodness did that take a long time! My right leg is still pretty sore from the double shot of pitocin - really sore means it's getting better instead of the numbness I had for 10 weeks. Pitocin leg, painful privates, chapped bits and then trouble with birth certificates, and social security cards, going broke waiting for paperwork to file a tax return, deciding to drop out of Chiropractic school, planning to move to Utah to start over and trying to find somewhere to live, packing, having babies medical coverage cancelled unexpectedly... I could go on. The good news is that I have a comfy couch to sit on during all of this and a husband who does all the cooking and some cleaning, and grocery shopping and everything.

I like the idea of moving on and starting over whilst we're still at the start of this life chapter. I want to show Autumn the world, which means I need to see some of it myself too. We're excited to be closer to family again. A little noise and company is very welcome in our lives and we're looking forward to sharing her with them. Plus it's going to be so nice to have friends nearby again! Thank goodness for Rexburg and the friendships we made than, and whilst we're at it, thank goodness for facebook and the ability it's given us to keep in touch with those friends!

I've not struggled more than I can handle. Honestly, my lack of emotions had me worried for a while because the thought of post partum depression makes me so anxious. What if I have it but I don't notice? What if it's in me and eating me up from the inside out and I don't know it? It's not in my genes so I don't have to worry about it, says my mum. Plus, it's easy for me to say "life is wonderful", and I mean it too.

2 months: Baby love.

The last 10 weeks have gone quickly  although some day have felt like they'd last a lot longer than they ought to. Autumn's a pretty easy baby with quite the funny little character. She's still a mover and shaker even when she's feeding she's kicking and squirming about. When she's sleeping she's the same; legs and arms everywhere.  it makes it easy to imagine her riding a bike, skateboarding, flamenco dancing, holding onto a pole whilst being blown away by the wind etc. She's like a jack in the box and regularly gives me a fright with her erratic and spontaneous jumping and flinching. She's packed with personality! Along with that she's a treat to look at. We can't understand how we got such a pretty little baby!

As well as being pretty and energetic she makes some pretty great noises. All in all she keeps us entertained on all levels.

One whole year ago...

Someday, oh my!

Sometimes amidst my constant sleepiness due to taking care of Chirpy-Pants I get this overwhelming feeling of excitement and thoughts about the future flood my mind.

Someday I'll be throwing a birthday party for the munchkin
Someday we'll take her on a picnic and she'll love it
Someday Stuart will teach her to ride a bike
Someday we'll take her to the sea and she'll feel at home
Someday we'll bake together
Someday she'll sing the songs I sing to her, that my mum sang to me
Someday she'll have hair
Someday I'll get to sleep through the night...

Someday is so exciting to me - today is pretty great too :)

Autumn: 6 weeks

1. After a couple of weeks of sudden reflux Autumn's stomach has settled down and she's no longer doing her milky fountain act. Thank goodness. That means I can nom on her face without fear of being barfed on - although there's nothing like milky burp-up to warm up cold hands.

2. She's starting to smile and it drives us wild. We're addicted to her and the smiles are like crack to us. We need more and will do anything to get some! A couple of times it's seemed like she's tried to laugh too - can't wait for that!

3. On the flip-side, she's also started to frown properly and has the most heartbreaking and adorable little cry. The pout, the frown, the cry and the real tears slay us.

4. At the start of the week I packed away her newborn clothes after trying to stuff her into a newborn onesie and failing. She's still a little small for 0-3 month outfits but far too big for newborn clothes and looked like a little sausage in them with the poppers straining... Adorable!

5. Stuart and I had spoken about not being those insane, delusional parents who think their wrinkly little baby is the most gorgeous thing on the planet since "all babies look like little old men". We spoke about it and made a deal to be honest with each other if our baby took a while to grow into something adorable. We are those parents. She is the prettiest little thing we've ever seen and there's no convincing us otherwise! We love that giant noggin!