Saturday, June 23, 2007

My Dad could beat up your Dad!

I figured that seeing as I don't have much going on right now and I don't want to get out of the habit of writing here I'd write about my family. I'll start with my dad seeing as Father's Day just passed.

My Dad; the man of the house and the head of the table.

When you first meet my dad you'd think he's intimidating and scary. Even after knowing him a while you might still think that. You'd be thinking right. He actually is intimidating and scary. The story of how my parent's met paints a good picture of both of them.
They met at a church dance. My mum needed a lift home and was told to go speak to Robert because he'd be heading home in her direction. She went over to ask him and he said he'd take her home if she'd get on her knees and beg. She said 'no' and thought he was a jerk. In the end he did take her home and asked if he could come see her again.

My dad is the creator of awkward moments. I'd say he even thrives off of them.
On my 19th birthday Stuart was planning on asking me to marry him. As we sat down to my birthday dinner (spam and sweetcorn pie, oh yes!) he was sweaty and fidgity. My dad knew what was going on; Stuart was trying to work up the nerves to ask my dad for permission to marry me. Stuart is probably an easy target when it comes to creating an awkward moment.

Dad: Stuart, just get it over with so we can all enjoy our dinner!
Stuart: What? (Everyone looks at Stuart.)
Stuart: IwanttomarryLaura! (Everyone bursts out laughing.)
Dad: (Clearly expected a different response.) Ok... Can you take her to the Temple?
Stuart: Yes.
Dad: Ok then.
Stuart: Ok.
Laura: "I want to marry Laura!" That was it?!

That there was just a little example of the perfect creation of awkwardness.

My dad knows everything. If you ask him a question he can answer it. Anything! Just before I left home I asked him something and it was the first time I'd ever heard "I don't know" be his reply. So he knows everything apart from that one thing he doesn't know but maybe he knows it now... I expected to marry someone who knew everything like my dad. My dad can also fix anything. One time we were on a bus going down to the London temple on a Stake Temple trip and the bus broke down. My dad got off the bus with the driver then came back on and asked if someone would give him a shoe lace. He disappeared off the bus with the lace and came back on. Good as new! He fixed a broken down bus with a shoe lace!

My dad can catch big fish with his bear hands and I really mean BEAR! He also likes to eat roadkill.

The only things my dad is afraid of is needles and kidney beans.

One time he was at work and cut his index finger almost right off just above the knuckle closest to the nail. He cut a notch in his finger nail, got a piece of string and made a loop, bent his finger down and tied it up with string and put a little finger glove over it. He didn't go to a doctor because he knew they'd sew it up and he's scared of needles. His finger, like the broken down bus was good as new!

My dad is a rascal. When he was young he lived near a person with a big apple tree. They were never allowed to pick up the apples that fell from the tree so one night he climbed the tree and picked every single leaf of it except for one at the very top.

He is also very caring and compassionate. We're a family that goes on day trips. We'd often end up by a river or some body of water. I'm a scaredy cat. My dad would always carry me over his shoulder across slippery stepping stones so I could be part of the adventure. I might have had more of an adventure than anyone else because I was being carried across by my dad.

I like to think I repaid him for those trips across rivers by going to his bee's with him when I was older. No-one would ever go with him so I decided I would. I loved being with him but I hated being with the bee's. He'd inherited his bee equipment and outfits from a man he'd met through work. Some of my favorite stories come from our bee-keeping days.

We used to visit the bee's on Saturday's. One Saturday he'd gotten up earlier than me and went for a walk to see them by himself. I remember being shaken awake and hearing my dad's voice. When I opened my eyes it wasn't his face I was seeing. I was startled and I think I might have squealed a little. He had a big grin on his strange new face and seemed really pleased with himself. "It's me! Your dad!" he said. He'd gotten stung right between the eyes. He was also Bishop of our Ward at the time and had to conduct lessons the next day. It was hilarious. His eyes had swollen shut. He looked like the Elephant Man.

He's taught me a lot of important things (funnel! haha!) and given me a lot of hilarious memories. Stuart has a lot to live up to.
Strong, caring, spiritual, funny, serious, impatient, handy, honest - that's my dad.

My dad is my hero and I can't wait to see him again.


Liam'smommy said...

What a crack-up. I love that he grills Stuart, that's what dads are for. With the combo of your mom and dad for parents, no wonder you're so spectacular.

Liam'smommy said...

woops, I am still trying to figure out this blog thing. I don't know what I did to delete the comment. Sorry! Thanks for getting me started though. I'm loving it.