Sunday, September 23, 2007

Hardest week ever...

This week has been tough. It's been physically and mentally exhausting. Terribly challenging. Spiritually though I'm doing surprisingly well. I'm getting the distinct feeling that I need to learn to be more patient. Whilst I thought I didn't have a problem with that it has been mentioned a few times through a blessing, discussion with my mum, email from Beki and Bishop mentioned it to me today indirectly but from the pulpit... Yup.

Stuart jokes that I've either been really good or really bad to have been dealt the challenges I've faced this past week. It's been hard but I've learned to rely on other people better. I've got an independance 'problem' that Stuart pointed out to me today - probably goes hand in hand with ye olde patience... I must admit though that it has been so nice to spill my feelings and to be embraced and loved instead of not being taken seriously or ignored. I really appreciate people. The reason I don't like to involve people with my plans is because people disappoint me. I hate being late so I make a point of sitting in the car waiting for 10 minutes before we leave - I also hate being blamed for things not my fault so I do my duties 110% and I often do other people's so that I can trick myself into thinking that they are responsible. I need to learn to accept people as complete beings instead of a person missing a part because they don't return a phone call or keep a commitment or whatever... Dang. I have a lot to work on. Maybe I was being punished this week... Pah! I don't even know where that last rant came from. This week I've had to share feelings I didn't want to. I'm a bottler who prefers bottling up feelings and problems so I don't bother other people by adding my burdens to their more important ones... I have to share my feelings more, so there you go...


Anyway, when I wake up tomorrow it's going to be a new week and I just pray we don't get another one like this one just past. I need to take care of myself better and I need to let Stuart take care of me more.

I'm so grateful for unconditional love. I am grateful for where I am in life and I am happy - I know you need to hear that, mum. Stuart loves me and is taking care of me. I also have a Bishop who's felt my pain...

I do see a faint silver lining right now but need some time to focus on it.


I hope I can continue to trick myself into feeling like this this next week... just kidding but I do have to kind of convince myself I'll be ok but I've been told to take as much time as I need and I really will be ok again... I'm going to do it.

7 comments:

Trude said...

hugs to you girly .. it will be mucho better next week ! i promise ..

Anonymous said...

Danielle told me to check out your blog because it was funny. I don't think I get her sense of humor if this is what she was talking about. Sorry things were hard this week. Hope your days get better and better this week.

Thinking of you.

Beth

Anonymous said...

Aw, Laura I hope you feel better.
Kirsten

Crazy Walker said...

I really hope your week gets better too! For shizzle!

Joycelyn said...

Sorry you are having a bad, painful week. Here's something to cheer you up. :-)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o

Joycelyn said...

OMG! The last one was just a practice go-around. Here is there final take at the capitol!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmgvJ-AYFkg&NR=1

bethiepoos said...

hiya laura
sorry you had a rough week!! we scottish girls in america need to look out for eachother!! hope you feel better soon!

love from beth xxxxx

ps check my blog too if you get a chance www.lovinlifewithmymen.blogspot.com