Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Romantic weekend extravaganza:

Since Christmas Stuart has been saying, "I have a surprise for you" and would ask if I wanted to know what it was. For me, waiting for surprises are torturous. Not knowing KILLS me. BUT I have a husband who likes to surprise me but finds keeping the surprise to himself torturous. If I'm going to be tortured by Stuart you better believe I'm going to torture him right back. So, when the question was asked I would say, "No. I do not want to know." Both of us would be dying. Goal accomplished. I'm not going to die alone. He's coming with me!

He told me that I would get my gift before Valentine's Day for sure and that was all he could tell me. He did start dropping abnormal points into conversations and I was able to work out what the surprise was and when I'd get it. He knew he was saying things he shouldn't but couldn't control himself. I think that means I won. I did win. I won big.

On Sunday after church we checked in to The AmericINN on the outskirts of Rexburg for 2 nights in their Emerald Lagoon room. Stuart booked it 2 days after Christmas - he kept it a surprise for way longer than expected. Bless him.

He took me to Applebees for lunch on Monday. After that we both started feeling a bit sick. I'm not sure if it was the food or all the excitement or all the chlorine from all the time we spent splashing about in the swimming pool...
The bathtub was huge and round. It filled from a spout on the ceiling and had some super duper spa jets. Love.
Stuart fixed the water feature. One of the little streams of rain kept spraying on the floor but, don't worry he fixed it good.
With my health deteriorating as it is - mental health included - it was a perfect treat. Things have been really stressful recently. I've been getting sick all the time with different viruses, I've been losing a lot of sleep, I'm constantly worrying about this and that, my hair's falling out, I'm lethargic, I was a bit depressed - I could go on and on but that isn't going to help anybody. I haven't been happy which freaks me out because I'm almost always happy except when I'm super happy.

Stuart and I never had a honeymoon. All our money went on immigration and since then it's been going on schooling and rent. The first time we'd actually gone on a trip just the two of us was Thanksgiving 2007 -we were married in early 2004 - and since 2 more times since then. We did go back to Scotland for the first time in summer of 2007 but that was different. We've never stayed in a hotel just the two of us except those 2 nights after we were married - 2 nights which were spent sleeping and planning my move over to here. We haven't ever had a time to sit and connect the way we did these past 2 nights. I feel rejuvenated and our relationship - which has never been that difficult - has been refreshed. We took time to renew our commitment to each other and to talk about what we want from eachother and our future together. We spoke and laughed about how we aren't ready to have children. Going away just the two of us like that and having uninterupted time together made me feel like an adult for the first time ever. It's been almost 5 years that we've been married and that was the first time I felt like an adult. I think I'm finally out of adventure mode and I'm now in grown-up mode.

Things I learned and plans we made:
- I don't have to answer to anyone and if I don't want to do something I don't have to do it. It's not a problem.

- Stuart likes it when I stand up for myself - especially against him.

- I'm not a bad person because I don't want children right now. I think Stuart was a bit relieved when I told him that. I'm happy where I am. I'm still getting to know Stuart AND I'm only 24!

- When I have children it'll be for Stuart and I, not for the grandparents. It would be wrong to have children just to stop feeling like a disappointment to our parents.

- We want to learn to communicate better before adding kids to the mix.

- We love talking about our furture together and Stuart will never be "done with me".

- We hope that when our friends talk about us they aren't saying things like "I wonder how long Stuart and Laura will last."

- We have some really great friends.

- It's better to talk things out than to bottle them up. I've always know this and I've always been a bottler but I've been working hard on fixing it and controlling my temper when I'm forcing myself to confront Stuart about bugging me.

I could go on, I learned a lot and had so much fun with Stuart. I'm very lucky - and so is he :)

14 comments:

Sara said...

You've been seeing a doctor, yes?

Laura said...

Mmm no. I don't have health insurance and have really only admitted I have a problem. I'm working on it now though. Thanks, Besty.

Shannon said...

That's the coolest room ever! I want to take Josue there. But don't tell him that I'll be thinking of you if we go. I wonder if he reads what I write on your blog and knows that I'm in love with you? Dun, dun, dun...

Oh, and I'll be your doctor. Free of charge. :)

Shannon said...

And by doctor I meant therapist. I wasn't trying to be dirty.

CTR2002 said...

I know how long you'll "last"... forever! :)

Hilary said...

I am so glad that you two had a wonderful weekend together! It sounds like it was wonderful and a great way to recharge your batteries. I'm glad you're feeling better.

emma said...

We are deffinietly related! I came on to see what the theme was of your hotel! And in reply to your question of whats on my mind- I guess much of it is the same stuff but actually from a different angle.. as in I totally feel its time to get the family groove on.. but we can no way afford for me to not be working at this time because my job is not contract Im not entitled to maternity leave. I feel so cheated. have to work it out!

Chiemi said...

Oh my gosh! What a good surprise!! That is a very good hubby you have there. :)

Scott and Stacia said...

So glad you guys got out! Sounds like you needed it!! It is crazy how all of the sudden you both will think having kids is right, right now...but until then, enjoy :) It is and should be between you two...its not about the grandparents :) And you are still young!! Hang in there and get better quickly!!

Megan Marie said...

It's refreshing to read honesty. If I was to reply my honest reaction it would go something like this... I love you and I'm so glad that Stuart is taking care of you like a good husband. It's a tiny bit sad for me to hear that you don't want kids right now, but that's just because the greatest joys in my life are those little monsters, but then sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have some time with Matty before we became a family of three, then four. And I realize, it's more about finding the joy in whatever it is that feels right. Sometimes it feels right to have kids and the parents can either lament their lost freedom or rejoice in their creations. Other times it doesn't feel right to have kids and the couple can either feel frustrated or they can see the sweet chance they have to grow together. I guess what my thoughts come down to... you are going to make a wonderful mum someday, and I'm glad you are realizing what YOU want verses what others want for you.

Jon and Sarah Jackson Family said...

Oh yeah, you know me...every time you left my apartment I was like, "Jon, I don't think Stuart and Laura are made for each other. It's so sad that they are never going to make it" Please! I knew you guys were a perfect fit from the start. You are so different and so alike at the same time that I have, nor have ever had, any doubts that you two will make it just fine.

Don't worry too much about the depression thing. I have found myself going through little bouts of it at different times in my life. It always seems to sort itself out. If it keeps being a problem though, you should talk to a doctor. I worry about you. I wish I were still up there. We could have some hot chocolate together and lift each other up. I MISS YOU!!!

Lacey said...

I think you guys are so cute! I love that you tortured him back by not letting him tell you your surprise! Grown-up time now, huh? I think that's great... maybe sometime Andy and I can get some of that! hahaha.

I do have a suggestion about your health. You might have your thyroid checked once you get insurance because that's what my problem was and I had the hair loss, sleep loss, and was lethargic all the time too. Just a thought.

I love the room. Andy and I actually looked at staying there for a couple nights before we had kids, but never got the chance. Sounds like you guys had an amazing time and that you really connected. I'm glad you figured things out for yourselves.

Angela and Roy Brown said...

I totally took Roy to that same room our first year we were married! I loved it. I thought the funniest part of the room was that the toilet was inside a tree trunk-I have to confess I am totally jealous you guys were able to do that. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff and not feel like you have time together as a couple. There are days honestly, I think Roy and I talk maybe an hour. It's frustrating but you learn to work through it. If you need anything- even chicken soup- call! PS if you ever wanna dry run at the mommy thing I have two kids you can borrow (0=

Beth Adams said...

Laura,
When you get home there is an at home self test you can do with iodine that will let you know if you might have thyroid problems. Mark did it to himself when he started loosing hair etc. It's not unusual and isn't too hard to fix. But then maybe it's a bit of stress from all the decisions you both have had to make.

Don't feel bad about not having kids right now. You have such a great relationship going with Stuart and you both pray and you'll both know what you're supposed to do and when. I look at other people and think " I'm not sure I'm ready to be a grandma right now." Although I think I get older and uglier every day so I might scare the poor child when you do begin your family. I disappointed my mom because we started our family sooner than she thought we should. It's not a race.
I love that my son has a best friend that he's married to. I love that you try so hard to stay connected. When kids do come that strength will make all the difference. You're doing great and you're on track to where the two of you want to be. That's all that matters.