He told me that I would get my gift before Valentine's Day for sure and that was all he could tell me. He did start dropping abnormal points into conversations and I was able to work out what the surprise was and when I'd get it. He knew he was saying things he shouldn't but couldn't control himself. I think that means I won. I did win. I won big.
On Sunday after church we checked in to The AmericINN on the outskirts of Rexburg for 2 nights in their Emerald Lagoon room. Stuart booked it 2 days after Christmas - he kept it a surprise for way longer than expected. Bless him.
He took me to Applebees for lunch on Monday. After that we both started feeling a bit sick. I'm not sure if it was the food or all the excitement or all the chlorine from all the time we spent splashing about in the swimming pool...The bathtub was huge and round. It filled from a spout on the ceiling and had some super duper spa jets. Love.
Stuart fixed the water feature. One of the little streams of rain kept spraying on the floor but, don't worry he fixed it good.
With my health deteriorating as it is - mental health included - it was a perfect treat. Things have been really stressful recently. I've been getting sick all the time with different viruses, I've been losing a lot of sleep, I'm constantly worrying about this and that, my hair's falling out, I'm lethargic, I was a bit depressed - I could go on and on but that isn't going to help anybody. I haven't been happy which freaks me out because I'm almost always happy except when I'm super happy.
Stuart and I never had a honeymoon. All our money went on immigration and since then it's been going on schooling and rent. The first time we'd actually gone on a trip just the two of us was Thanksgiving 2007 -we were married in early 2004 - and since 2 more times since then. We did go back to Scotland for the first time in summer of 2007 but that was different. We've never stayed in a hotel just the two of us except those 2 nights after we were married - 2 nights which were spent sleeping and planning my move over to here. We haven't ever had a time to sit and connect the way we did these past 2 nights. I feel rejuvenated and our relationship - which has never been that difficult - has been refreshed. We took time to renew our commitment to each other and to talk about what we want from eachother and our future together. We spoke and laughed about how we aren't ready to have children. Going away just the two of us like that and having uninterupted time together made me feel like an adult for the first time ever. It's been almost 5 years that we've been married and that was the first time I felt like an adult. I think I'm finally out of adventure mode and I'm now in grown-up mode.
Things I learned and plans we made:
- I don't have to answer to anyone and if I don't want to do something I don't have to do it. It's not a problem.
- Stuart likes it when I stand up for myself - especially against him.
- I'm not a bad person because I don't want children right now. I think Stuart was a bit relieved when I told him that. I'm happy where I am. I'm still getting to know Stuart AND I'm only 24!
- When I have children it'll be for Stuart and I, not for the grandparents. It would be wrong to have children just to stop feeling like a disappointment to our parents.
- We want to learn to communicate better before adding kids to the mix.
- We love talking about our furture together and Stuart will never be "done with me".
- We hope that when our friends talk about us they aren't saying things like "I wonder how long Stuart and Laura will last."
- We have some really great friends.
- It's better to talk things out than to bottle them up. I've always know this and I've always been a bottler but I've been working hard on fixing it and controlling my temper when I'm forcing myself to confront Stuart about bugging me.
I could go on, I learned a lot and had so much fun with Stuart. I'm very lucky - and so is he :)