Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dreaming in American.

I always sort of felt like I'd end up in America. How I'd get here I wasn't sure. There were a couple times my parents spoke about selling up and moving here. At one point they had the paperwork.

I always dreampt of going to high school here. Cheerleaders, jocks, lockers, no school uniform, being home early in the afternoon instead of at 4pm etc... I thought about going to school dances, prom, homecoming (whatever that means) or going to football games, dates, high school graduation, getting a drivers license at 16 etc...

Dreaming of America was a nice way to escape the dull, poor life I had. Once I finished high school I was done dreaming of cheer leaders and prom (I still dream of prom actually) and having a locker. I thought about getting a cool job maybe in fashion design. I thought of living in a cool city like Seattle or San Francisco or Los Angeles. I thought of the cute girl friends I'd have as room mates and the fun we'd have.

At one point I looked in to going to a school over here but figured there was no point because an American education doesn't exactly translate in the UK. And to be honest I'm not exactly disciplined enough for higher education, I barely made it through High School. I'm a free spirit. America was just a dream unless some miracle came along...

Then I met Stuart and let him marry me - you're welcome, Stuart ;) And my dreams of having cute room mates in a cute little apartment went away. (I have one handsome room/bed mate.)

Now I'm here. The dream is different. It's a little more complicated but it's still bright and exciting.

Now I dream of having a beautiful big house and decorating. I dream of having babies - that's a big step for me, I also dream of having health insurance but that's not what I'm blogging about tonight. Babies though! I've been dreaming of having one! I know!

I dream of raising children who I hope will dream those same things I did. I don't want to live through my children per se (is that how you use that phrase? I don't even know.) but their lives are going to be an adventure for me. I'll be raising children in a culture I only dreamed of and yet their culture won't be like everyone elses because I'll instill some of my Scottishness (table manners) in them.

I'm so excited to be getting closer to that final dream I have of owning a home and raising children with Stuart. It's close! Yes, I'll admit I've dreampt of the OC life. Rich. The idea is so foreign to me that it's like an alternate ego lifestyle dream thing - where I'm skinny and have nice long, thick hair but that's not who I aim to be. I want the simplicity of not having to spend a ton of money. I want money but I want to save it.

School starts in just over two weeks, we don't have a place to live yet but we have our eyes on a few places. We just need to wait for the money to appear - money does that in America! Then we'll move into our new (rental) home that may or may not have fruit trees in the garden and that may or may not have a garage. It'll most likely have 3 bedrooms and more than one bathroom because that's how houses are in America! It's a dream!

I'm excited to move to California and to be there on time for Halloween. We'll host potlucks and movie nights and we'll be our fun, silly selves. I'm so excited!

This summer marks the end of a lot of things. It's sad but I have a feeling of completion. Like the end of a chapter or maybe even the end of a book. I'm older now. I'm an actual adult, I have been for a while but I've been trying to catch up on my lost American youth. I like to do silly things and behave like a fun sister but it's time for this sister to find new ways to have fun. It might be time to have a baby. I'm feeling pretty responsible right now. The silliness will continue but I can't be dressing up like a pirate more than once a month anymore. We have bills to pay and I have skills that can earn money. I need to get down to it and start setting a more responsible example and apply myself. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop doing Silly Girl photo shoots but I need to change myself a little so I can be more serious and not feel like I'm 17. I like feeling 17 but I should stop behaving like 17.

I want the house, I want the big kitchen and the big bathtub. I want to have fresh cookies waiting for my kids when they get home from school. I want all that. I need to work on getting it. It's time to settle down. Stuart's going to school year round which will help me from reverting back to my state of irresponsibility come summertime. I'm going to be a fun mum - when the time comes. I've had the best example after all so I have no reason not to be.

I'm ready to grow up now. Thank you for watching me bumble about my prolonged adolescence :)

What will I dream of next? I have no idea.

PS. Is 'dreampt' a word?


Anonymous said...

Love this post! All the best in getting your living arrangements sorted fully...and then with getting pregnant when the time comes for you to be the coolest parental pair ;)
Question: Will you be mom or mum? :-P

Jessica Bjorn said...

Growing up can be fun! If you get to follow your dreams in any sense!!!

I am happy that you have such and optimistic view! It is encouraging!

Scott and Stacia said...

I am so excited for this adventure you guys are pursuing! (I love that I am really worried about my spelling now that I have read Megan's blog) Good luck with it all! Post pictures of your new place and enjoy the adventures that come with the move.

Trapper and Suzy said...

I love to read your blog! You have such a way with words and your passion for life is inspiring. I want to dress like a pirate more often now. I feel like sometimes I don't get to be the fun young girl I used to be anymore, since I'm a mom now. But I'm going to do my best to behave just a little sillier with my kids and hubby from now on!
Thanks Laura! : )

Chiemi said...

That was so interesting to read! I hope all your dreams come true. :)

Megan said...

Dreampt is not a word, assuming, of course, that was a real question. In America, we usually say dreamed, but since you are British, dreamt (notice the absence of the letter p) is also acceptable. I'm so excited for you! And slightly jealous for a couple different reasons, i.e. living in San Fransisco. I love you, Laura, and I miss you already, and I'm sorry for not always making the most of the time we had together. Let's always be friends, not just sister-in-laws.

Danielle said...

It's spelled "dreamt" but you are close enough. Love you Laura, and I'm excited for you as you take the next step into another wonderful adventure!

LeaAnne said...

This is a really great post :)

Lacey said...

I love you Laura! You always make me laugh.... I always dreamt of growing up in the UK.... isn't that funny. I do have a question though, I watched the Made of Honor movie the other night and they talked about a "Taking Out" which is like a Scottish bachelorette party? Do they really do that?

Anyway, I'm excited for you guys to get to California.... My sister's moving to San Diego. I don't know where you're moving to, but I hope you have a great time there!

Cecily said...

I love this post. You have a great way with words. You should write a book about your life. It would be a best-seller!

Megan Marie said...

please dress like a pirate WHILE baking cookies. That's my American dream. and moms are fun, too, you know. :)

Vikki Miller said...

Seriously... table manners are where it's at.

On my second date with Jon we were at Mimi's cafe ( LOVE THAT PLACE) and he went to wash his hands as soon as the food came. I sat and waited for him to come back, and he was shocked.

It's table manners though... innit?

AND... when I first met his parents Jon was driving and I wouldnt' sit in the front seat. I don't know if it's something that's in my family, but it's rude to take the front seat and make someone older sit in the back. That's just the rule.

That's all his parents remember about me I think, that i'm kind of weird and obsessed with not being rude.

Thanks for posting on wednesday for me, I feel so much better. After emailing you I threw up into a large red bucket while watching the little mermaid and I thought of you... haha... not because you remind me of spew but because of the post you once wrote about you being ill and stuart cleaning your sick bucket for you and holding your hair and stuff... this was ages and ages ago... but it stuck.

So yeah, while i was being sick I decided that I needed someone to hold my hair.

love love love xxxx

bethiepoos said...

you are adorable laura