For my mumma.

Dad, let mum see this. Ok?

Up the Duff!

It's that time of year again! I'm compiling my preggo friend list. If you're not on it let me know and you'll be added. I haven't counted them yet so this is quite exciting. I don't think there's very many just now though since everyone's just given birth.

1. Hilary and Mark - boy
2. Olivia
3. Sireena - girl
4. Cecily - Boy
5. Suzy - Boy
6. Chiemi

7. Bethany - girl

8. Mallorie - boy

9. Hilary and Russ - Boy

10. Aileen - Girl
11. Sally - Girl

12. Tiffany and Donny - Girl

13. Siobhan
14. Jessica and Tanner

15. Michelle N
16. Michelle C
17. Megan
18. Trina

Did I miss anyone? Want to make an announcement?

I think it might be Christmastime.

The weather has been insane today. It really feels like Christmas to me.

It's been a good weekend for us. Lauren came to visit and we got to hang out and chat. We also went to a girls night - thanks Amanda. It was fun. I'm surprised how seriously some people take Twilight though. There was a pretty good turn out for the girls night - I'm not surprised the people who raised a ruckus about it until the time was changed to suit them didn't turn up. Sadly. It was still fun though. People can't really complain about not having friends when they don't show up to these things.

When the girls night was over Lauren and I went up to the church where the boys were playing dodge ball. We sat in Stuart's car and blew up 50 balloons plus 3 of those gigantic ones they sell at the fair and left them all in the car. When our work there was done we came home.

This week has been pretty stressful and busy for me. I feel like I've been on edge all week with the photo shoot we did and all the editing which normally would have been fine but with graduation and moving coming up I'm starting to lose it a bit. I want the fun to continue right til the very end but don't know if mentally/emotionally I'm capable of it. So much to do!

Today was our last Sunday in the 72nd Ward. We were some of the first members of this ward when it was created back in 2004. Lots of people have passed through our lives in that time. I appreciate the ones who come back to pass through again. I feel like having Lauren here this weekend was sort of like the end of an era. She came and went, like she has done before but this is the last time. We experienced things in this ward that will never happen again. A unity long gone. Friendships that can't be made again. Service and loves that can't be replicated. It's all very poetic. Time to grow up I guess.

If I was asked to give advice to newly-weds/young families/students in this area/housing complex I'd say this:

You're never going to get this time back. It can't be recreated. 

Make friends. 

Share your love. 

Create memories. 

Make the most of your time. 

Be silly. 

Don't complain about being far from your family. Make the people around you your family. Dance like no-one's watching but know they are and that your free spiritedness is rubbing off on them and making them happy. 

Happiness is contagious. The world needs more happiness. 

If you want fun, make it. 

Don't complain about there not being any fun if you're not willing to make it yourself. If you complain about it it's likely it's come and gone and you've been focused on not having it. 
Live every day with the goal of having no regrets by the end of it.

So after a rather emotional day I'm trying to look forward now instead of grieving the end of this time here. I really don't want to live here forever - or for much longer than the next 2 weeks but I can't seem to shake the sadness of leaving. I've made great friends and become sisters all over again. I've had my burden lightened by some amazing people. If Stuart had gone on a mission instead of marrying me I wouldn't have met so many of the people that I love now. Things would be so much different. Things happen for a reason. We were meant to come here at the time we did. I love that.

Springter

I was wrong about Rexburg only having two seasons. I take it back. All of it. All my grumping and groaning about bitter cold and extreme heat. Not only is there obviously winter and extra obvious summer but Springter too.

One day it's sunny and hot and the next there's a blanket of snow on the ground. By afternoon most snow is gone. Springter.

I imagine this season confuses all those people Megan and I saw smooching on that hot, perfect for rolling in mud day just last week.

Hey Doll Face!

Rexburg girlies, check this out. It's info for today's photoshoot.

Yo! Check this. It's our doll face pictures. There's a bajillion of them.

Happy British Mothers Day, Mumma!

Hey Mum! Happy Mothers Day! I love you and I'm glad you're my mum. I can't wait to see you again and I miss you every day - usually around dinner time. I hope you had a great day and that you were made to feel special - because we all know you are.

You're my soulmate. We're kindred spirits and I adore you. You're sweet, funny, creative, loving, generous, kind, beautiful, patient and wise. I try to make choices that I know you'd be proud of. You're my favorite mum and I hope I can be just as wonderful of a mother as you someday.

I love you.

-Laura Porridge XX

This is a story about a boy and a girl.

Once upon a time there were two lovers. He was handsome and sometimes socially awkward in an adorable way and she was a little shy herself, also in an adorable way.

They vowed to be one anothers for eternity and infinity. They were both quite young when this promise was made. They were so in love and gleeful. Nothing could break the happy spell they were both under.

One day in the supermarket the sweet girl mentioned her love of deli meats. The boy scoffed at the idea and called the specialty meats such things as 'overpriced' and 'just as good as the other stuff'. That was ok but those words were falsehoods. Who would let deli meats come in the way of true happiness? The girl wouldn't, she could deal with this. Dreaming of the delicate slices of meat would be enough for her. With those dreams alone she would continue loving them and her ignorant lover.

Many years had passed and there had never been another discussion of delicatessen wonders. Often times she passed the counter and lingered just slightly as she took in the sight of the little beauties and her heart skipped a beat. She recalled fond memories of the times when her mother had come home with little white baggies of chicken breast (and the time she took a bit out the whole pile of meat because she couldn't control herself that one time), chicken as white as clouds, or Chicken tikka, the thinnest of any shaved meat she'd set her eyes on. Sadly that meat disappeared from the deli counter never to be found again.

The longing grew as the years passed. She was ashamed to long for a slice of meat as much as she did so she never mentioned it to her man, the one who was against it from the beginning. A slight shadow was cast over her heart as she recollected the mean things he had said. When they first met she thought he was perfect for her. Doubt had crept in.

Then one day, not so long ago. Her faithful partner came home from grocery shopping with more bags than they needed of Sweet and Spicy Doritos, as he normally did when he went shopping alone. Only this time there was something else. Something else in the bottom of the grocery bag.

There they lay. Alone. Little bags full of love. Thinly sliced sunshine! In her own kitchen! Muenster Cheese! Mesquite Turkey! A beautiful array of wafer thin meats and cheeses. Where did this come from? How did this happen? Was it a dream straight from her private thoughts?

It was not a dream. Along with the 50 hundred bags of Doritos came something else he wasn't supposed to be buying. He lost control at the deli. The angel behind the counter willingly helped him select his sandwich meats. A pound of this, half a pound of that, a little more please. 

He was converted by the mere sight of the produce. He didn't have to taste it to know it was the right thing to do.

Now words like "everyone should always have something good in the deli drawer in the fridge" are uttered from his constantly smiling mouth. No words as sweet could ever be spoken. 

Be still my heart! Get away shadow of doubt! This man IS perfect! Her Genoa Salami addiction would be satisfied...

Anthony, the Saint

On Friday Hilary took me to St. Anthony because it's a place she's spent a lot of time in since being here in Rexburg and because I couldn't very well leave Rexburg without ever visiting St. Anthony once. Which I agreed with. She told me about a few exciting things I'd see so I made sure to have my camera battery charged and ready. 

The first exciting thing being a giant log bed by the side of the road...

Then we spotted this ginormous nest on top of a bridge. Everything IS big in America!
We took a Sportsman's access to see where it went. For the first time since I've been here I saw lovely countryside. 

I almost felt jealous of the people who live out there.
Then we hit St. Anthony which made me feel all giddy and excited. This is probably nothing for people who've lived here but for me it was like driving into the set of a wild west film. I've never seen anything like it in real life. Hilary promised we'd come back so I could get a better look. I'm planning on doing a photoshoot there before we leave.
We stopped to eat our lunch so we could go to the park that Hilary really wanted to show me.
I wish we could be here for a summer to experience this park. It was so cool. (Megan and Olivia, you need to come here in the summer and take pictures for me!) It has a huge tiered sandbox leading down to the river, a flume slide into the river, picnic area, diving board, wooden fort play area... it's all just too cool.
I want to play there.
Then we headed back to the car to go to the other park. We would have walked but there was too much snow.
I hung out here on the ski chair whilst Hilary took care of her preggo bladder.
There's a few War memorial's in this small area - and fisher men too.

Another War memorial. I'm all about those. They make me a little emotional.

This might be my favorite picture from the trip.
The river is still iced over.

The play area is back behind the little dam. There are people who live right by the river who have a huge slide coming down from their balcony/ top deck into the river. 



This picture best represents Idaho.
Saint Anthony main street. So cool! A lot of the buildings are boarded up and abondoned. That added to the Wild West feel but was also pretty sad because this is actually 2009...
We went into this drug store and sat at the bar for the best milkshake I've had in a long time. The store was bustling with kids buying penny candy and old people having their lunch. It was cool. I want to own a place like that.
We headed back to Rexburg but not before going past this Boat shaped house. I tried explaining it to Stuart but he thought it was a boat that was turned into a house and not a house built like a boat. We were both pretty entertained by this.
So that was Hilary and Laura's day of fun!

That night we headed over to Olivia and Tyler's to hang out for the first time in a good few weeks.

Yesterday morning I took pictures at a friends baby shower. You can see them here.

Then Stuart and I went into Idaho Falls with Russ and Hilary to go to the Titanic Exhibit. I get emotional at War Memorials. This one just about did me in. When you go in you get a boarding pass that has a name and information on the back of it. Then you travel through rooms that are built like the ones in the Titanic. You see pictures of people, the remains on the bottom of the sea, items recovered from it etc. Then at the end there's a list of survivors and ones who were lost. I survived but my father died. I was first class. Stuart was third class and didn't survive.

I was also able to find the name of my seminary teachers uncle who was travelling first class but was lost. 

"Stead had made two possible premonitions concerning the Titanic. On 22 March 1886, he published an article named "How the Mail Steamer Went Down in Mid-Atlantic, by a Survivor",^[5] where a steamer collides with another ship, with high loss of life due to lack of lifeboats. Stead had added "This is exactly what might take place and will take place if liners are sent to sea short of boats". In 1892, Stead published a story called From the Old World to the New,^[6] in which a White Star Line vessel, the Majestic, rescues survivors of another ship that collided with an iceberg."

At the end of the tour there are stories of people who were on the Titanic. One was of a woman and her two sons who tried to hold hands as the ship went down. Her sons were young teenagers who were seen as men so they weren't allowed on the lifeboat. The mother wouldn't leave them so they all held hands as the ship went down. They lost hold of one another. The mother survived but her sons were lost, never to be seen again.

That was where Stuart and I both struggled to hold back tears.

So, there you have it. What a busy weekend! 

Cruisin'

Today I've been cruising blogs and thought I'd share some of the loveliness I've found.

First I checked the Gypsy Feet email and there was a submission that will be featured in the future. I loved the style and checked out her blog. I've been checking out a good few photography blogs this week and her's is a favorite.

Then from Makaya Larson I hopped over to here and then to her store. I hope I have a little girl someday because when I do she'll be decked out in Matilda Jane clothes. I had to email the link to Olivia because it's completely her style too. Way cute!

THEN I checked my google reader and read Cjane's post and hopped over to The Frog to join in her discussion. I posted the second comment and when I refreshed there were more there so I read them - seeing as I'm half way to my 1000th post and want to know if I should stop incase that's lame...

One comment was left by a girl with a cute profile picture so I went to her blog and took a gander and liked it muchly.

Then I clicked a link and found myself here. And then here.

It's been a nice journey so far.

When Superheroes turn baaaaad!

Check here for more at some point.

Top Secret meeting!

When: Tomorrow March 10th. 3pm.

Where: The secret lair: 805

What: Keep your identity hidden by coming dressed as your Superhero Ego. Check here for inspiration. Be sure to express your true super power through your costume.

Be ready to leave at 3, costumes, makeup, everything. Ladies of justice must be punctual AND fashionable.

The world depends on you!

Can you come out to play?

I have no plans for taking pictures this week but I would like some. Do you want to come out and play?

If you do let me know what theme you want to do. I need fun.

A Sunday Adventure:

Yesterday was our Stake Conference - actually our Stake's first stake conference. It was held in the Hart Auditorium which mean uncomfortable seats. I stayed as long as I could but my tail

 bone just wasn't having a nice time. We came home and Stuart declared that he was going to put together a picnic and we were going to go somewhere for lunch. We decided on The Nature Park and I would show Stuart how to Letterbox seeing as he's never done it before. He made lunch and I printed off instructions. Then we set out.

We ate lunch in the car. That's how it's meant to be done.I gave Stuart the instructions so he would be incharge. He was surprisingly enthusiastic until we saw this...We hesitated a little then carried on...

We took note of the snowy direction we were meant to head in. Stuart was gung ho and off we went.

We didn't get too far because there was just too much snow and it was bitterly cold.
The walk was still nice though.
I mentioned 'cold', right?
Very cold. The sun was out and the park looked nice.

The pond was frozen over. Stuart wanted to walk on it. Tisk!

Cold.
So Cold.
I don't know.
Getting ready for our together picture.
Stuart's holding the clicker in his hands. When I told him he didn't have to hold it so obviously he said he thought his hand was on my shoulder but was too cold to know for sure. My eyes look crazy coloured in this one if you enlarge it.
Here's the view of the temple from where we were. We cracked out the telephoto lens for this.
It was cold and windy.
Stuart took this picture of the bent over bullrushes aka hairy sausages.
He also took this one and calls it "Americana"...
I didn't kill, capture or harass anything except Stuart... I didn't kill or capture him though. I also didn't do any fishing, legal or otherwise.
I like to take pictures of people jumping. Stuart's always got a good jump in him for me to photograph.
This is the ROTC place near where we live. There's army tanks in there if you look closely.

And that was the end of that. When we got home we played some Settlers online and I made Chicken Parmesan for dinner - which was incredibly delicious.

Then we watched a Harry Potter and went to bed.

The end.

Happy Lovers Day, Mum and dad!

One of my favorite things about being married in March is that my mum and dad were also married then - two days later and 29 years prior.

Infact the day I decided when we were getting married I remember shouting through the bathroom door to Stuart to inform him, "MARCH FIFTH!" I wanted to be married on the same day as my parents but we needed to choose a Friday. That was the closest Friday to March 7th.

I love that. It made it so much easier to decide when to get married. We knew we were getting married but never put it down on paper until quite close to the day. Like it would magically just happen...

Dear Mum and Dad,

  I'm glad you're mine and that you raised me how you did. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me and everything you wish you could have done. If I could choose my parents I'd choose you both. I love you. You're the best people I know. You set a great example to me of how loving two people can be even if they are old... older than me ;) I hope Stuart and I can still snog in the kitchen just like you two when we're your age. 

 You're great parents, friends and peers. Thank you for treating me with respect and making it easier for me to be an adult and so far from home. I miss you and hope I'm making you 'pleased'.

Thank goodness for Eternity because I really count on seeing you there - that means you really have to start behaving, dad, for my sake! :-P

I miss you.

 Thanks for everything.
Love,
  Laura Porridge xx

There's nothing like a tent to say 'I love you'

Yesterday morning at around 11am I began working on the surprise I had for Stuart. I'd planned it out in my head for a while and then when I started it just wasn't working out. Luckily for me, my hero AKA dad was online and if there's anyone in the world who knows how to do anything/everything it's him. He suggested a few things - always allowing me to better the idea and do it for myself. How else would I learn? He got my brain on the right track and I began again.

The idea came about a while ago when I was telling Stuart about my camping adventures with my mum and dad. We'd set out one afternoon in the summer with enough clothes for a week and drive south. We'd go down to England and camp. We'd arrive in the evening and find somewhere to pitch our tent - I remember once we stopped in a field and slept in the car. We'd take care of the tent and eat a packed dinner or go to the shops and pick up sandwich meat and bread and juice and eat that then we'd try and find a church building so we could go to church.

That's one of the lessons I'm grateful to have been taught. It doesn't matter if I'm on holiday and away from home - I'm never on holiday from my covenants that I've made. We'd go to church stinky and grubby but we were doing what was right. It's also helped me with being so far from home knowing that wherever I go there's always going to be a place I can go and belong and feel at home.

Anyway, back to yesterday. Stuart and I have never been camping before. His version of camping isn't as rough as mine. So I decided that since Stuart is so busy with school and doesn't have time to go out and do anything for our anniversary I would build a tent and we'd camp in it.

That there is when it was all coming together. My dad suggested tying a string from the light fixture to the blanket so I could drape it but the ceiling is too high and I didn't have any light blankets or sheets to use. I pulled down the curtains to use them and they're heavy. I strung string from the wardrobe door across the room to the clothes horse and that's the basic structure right there. 
The problem with it being strung across the room is that I had to crawl under it when I had to get to the computer and now my back is really sore.
Also, I was expecting him home at 6pm but he got home at 8... We ended up having cereal for dinner because my plan to roast hotdogs over the oven hobs was blown because it was so late. Too late to eat a hotdog. 
He got home and I'd left a note on the door telling him to ring the bell and wait because I had a surprise for him. He did that and I greeted him in my jacket and hat with my little suitcase packed for the adventure. He was confused. I handed him his jacket and hat and told him to put it on. He did, buttoned it up and everything and was ready for our trek to the spare room.

Here it is! Our first camping trip together! I'm not sure what Stuart's doing but his face was like that in most of the pictures.

Five years of sharing my bed with a boy: A Review

I know I've blogged about how I found Stuart and our wedding day and all that before. I think I'll write about something a little different this anniversary. 

2008. A difficult year. A very difficult year, maybe the hardest I've had. With those difficult trials come the opportunity to grow. Many of the things we went through are very personal. We've gained and lost together. We've struggled and overcome. We've fought and we've made up. We've been hurt and we've forgiven and been forgiven. We did it all together.

One of the hardest things this past year has been seeing friends give up on their marriages. The details aren't ours to know but the emotions are ours. Marriages shorter than ours have been broken. That's really effects me in a strong way. I cry about the loss even though it's not me who has lost. There's something about losing something out of your control and we've had plenty of that this last year too but to see something lost out of someones choice is something else altogether. I remember one time inparticular that we were having a really hard time and how easy it would have been in that particular moment to call it quits. But it would only have been easy for a moment. I made a deal with him to be his for eternity and I wholeheartedly plan on doing that. A deal's a deal. If either of us are unhappy that's something we can change - the unhappiness, not the deal.

I'm glad I got to know Stuart personally for a year and a half before getting married. Sometimes I have found myself looking at him and thinking "Who the heck is this man!?" but I do know even in the times when he's freaking out about losing something or upset because I can't choose what to make for dinner or whatever. I know who he is. He's the sweet, generous, thoughtful, funny, hardworking, loving, strong boy I married. He would do anything for me.

Things I've learned and observed this past half decade:

If you're married you need to depend on your husband. Don't share personal things with your mother. It's inappropriate. If a question is asked you don't need to answer it. (I've never had this problem with my mother.) You're peers now.

and on the other hand,

Just because you have a 'new' family now doesn't mean it's the only family you have. There's nothing wrong with accepting support from your family or your spouses. You were part of a family before and you'll always be a part of that family.

'Do unto others' really does go a long way. Treat your spouse how you expect to be treated in return. For me, learning to stand up for myself has been a big lesson. I don't expect to be spoken to a certain way so I don't speak to Stuart in that manner but if I was to talk to him like that I would expect him to stand up for himself. When Stuart speaks to me when he's angry I'll be sure to let him know he needs to calm down before talking to me. I never want to have someone take their frustrations out on me so I keep mine to myself and deal with it appropriately. We should all be able to control ourselves. We're adults.

We come from different families so obviously we're going to deal with things differently. The beautiful thing about being married is that now we can choose together how to deal with situations. We don't have to do it the way we were conditioned to. I love silliness. We do a lot of silly things together that make us happy. If that's what you want to do, do it.

Even if things aren't how you pictured them being doesn't mean you're a failure. I thought by now we'd have kids. We both thought that. Sometimes things don't go to plan. Live for the now. Don't focus on what could have been. Make things happen. Change your plan a little. Make the most of now. Although we thought we'd have children by now Stuart and I are having a great time focussing on one another. It's a blessing for us. I keep thinking of how we don't know what's in the future and how much more strain would be on us if we had a child to drag along with us. We're where we're meant to be right now and that's what matters. 

If you don't have children but are desperate for one try focussing on learning to be the best parent whilst you have time. That was a piece of advise my mum gave to me a few years ago. By focusing on learning now instead of being desperate I've grown a lot. Stuart and I have learned together. Our marriage isn't perfect but it's closer to perfect than it was a year ago because we're on the journey together instead of one of us wanting a baby so badly. We both want to continue getting to know one another and continue having adventures.

Homesickness. Screw it. Home for me is wherever Stuart is. I don't need homesickness or sadness. Eliminate those things. If you don't need it, don't accept it. I want to be happy. After a bout of depression that was harder to shake than any other downer I've been on last year I'm determined not to have to deal with it again. I'm going to stay as happy as humanly possible. If something does happen and I can't shake it it's time to get serious about health insurance. I won't sit about and cry anymore. 

I treasure the time I get to spend with Stuart. We'll talk, go on a walk, spend time with friends, cook together, nap together. Whatever. Those times with Stuart are my favorite. Don't force the moment. Sometimes just sitting together is perfect. Take things as they come, treasure it. Life is short. It would be dreadful if something happened to either of us and the other was left with thoughts like, "I wish I'd spent more time together instead of sitting at the computer." or "I hope he knows I love him even though I never took the time to talk to him and all I did was whine about his dirty socks never making it to the laundry bin." or "I hope he doesn't remember how annoyed with him I was when he bought me that toaster oven for Christmas as my 'big surprise'." 

Life on this earth is short. I don't want to take any regrets with me into the eternities. There is one that I'll be taking and that feels bad enough.

That fear thing...

Most of my friends know about my fear of being forgotten. I've been thinking about it recently and why it's such a strong fear.

We've been here for 4 years. Every summer we leave and then come back in the autumn. Over that break things happen, life goes on and then we come back and expect it to be the same as we left it. The same people are here but they aren't the same.  We were friends before we left and then when we come back for some reason we're not friends anymore. It's sad and it's happened so many times.

We've met people that became good friends really quickly. We've spent time together almost every day. We've spoken about living close to one another. We've shared countless meals and so much time together and then they leave and that's it. Or we leave for the summer and that's it.

How can things change so quickly? I don't expect to be friends with absolutely everyone I ever meet. I also don't expect to be friends with friends forever but sometimes things click and you expect it to stay clicked forever.

I'm sad for the loss of strong friendships.

Now it's our turn to leave. I really hope I can still give the kind of friendship I expect from people even though we won't be in the same town. 

Don't forget me, y'hear?!


(If you feel my posts are lacking in photographic entertainment, which it is, take a gander here.)

Photography:

Some people feel sad when Megan and I go out to take pictures because we don't invite them. It makes me sad that I can't take pictures with everyone but if you want to join in let us know and we'll see what we can do. If we don't know that you want to play how are we supposed to know to invite you?

Also, because I can't be having fun with everyone at once I thought I'd start a little challenge. If anyone wants to have their picture taken go grab a friend and have them take your picture and you can return the favor or take pictures of your kids, husband, home etc... Have a little photoshoot of your own and show me! The way I got involved with this was by coming up with ideas and themes for shoots and then actually doing it. If there's something you want to do, do it! If you want to do it with me, let me know! I like fun but I can't come up with all the ideas myself! (and I don't have a drivers license so if you want to go somewhere you need to be in charge.)

If you see us outside taking pictures and want in on it come out! Get dressed up and join in!

The only way we can get good at something is by practising. If you don't think your camera is that good look into some free photo editing programmes ie. picnik or download a free 30 day trial of photoshop. 

So, to be able to have fun with as many people at once as possible this weeks photography challenge can be found here. 

If you want fun, make some!