Wednesday, December 14, 2011

...and I feel fine.

A couple of nights ago I was telling Stuart that I think I have a better understanding of how I'd answer the question, "if you only had a week left to live, how would you spend your time?"

It's been on my mind the fact that Stuart and I have spent almost 8 years together just the two of us. We have our own way of living, communicating, organising, functioning together. We're maybe not exactly like a well oiled machine but we'd pass as oiled at least. We're excited to add a new little cog to our machine and for this part of our lives to change.

We're making the most of these last couple/few weeks by pretty much doing nothing... together. It feels like Saturday every day and we love it! Granted, part of why we're doing nothing, together is because we're trying not to get sick by doing nothing, with other people but still... together is together and that's our favourite. If you had a week left to live you'd spend it together with a loved one, I'm sure of it.

The closer we get to meeting our baby, it seems that the people who were most excited for us have turned into warning sirens. The "you're going to be amazing parents!" and "this couldn't have happened to two more deserving people!" comments have turned into "you have no idea how hard this is going to be" and "better get some sleep now because you're not going to get any for the next few years" etc. The excited ones are now posting articles about SIDS and discussing birth defects in front of us. It's like people can't help but feel some need to try and "prepare" us for things already looming in the back of our parental minds. It only adds to the already sleepless nights and moments of anxiety and loneliness - yes I know how difficult this is going to be without having the comfort of my own mother by my side! Constant reminders like these are really not helpful. It feels like we're being set up for I-told-you-so's at one of the most delicate times of our lives.

Nothing baby related has been in our control from the beginning, that's why it took us so long to get to this point. I have faith that whatever does happen with also be right for us, that there is a plan no matter what. We're here now for a reason, we're ready for it, we want it...


Bethany said...

I don't what it is about being a parent that brings out the "I've experienced this and you haven't, here, let me share my vast knowledge with you" in people. I think everyone has it to a degree, but I try really hard not to be preachy but excited. I hope I haven't preached at you! Even with things I feel really strongly about (natural childbirth vs medicated for example) I try to back off and let people do their own thing. And here I am tooting my own horn. Stopping now. :)

But good grief, parenting changes with each child, and it's a good reminder that we really don't have vast wisdom and actually know close to nothing. :)

Excited for the big day ahead!! I hope you'll record your birth story. I love a good birth story. :)

Lauren said...

Oh my excitement has not changed at all!! I am giddy for you. Just giddy. I know without a doubt that you and Stuart can handle ANYTHING that comes your way. You guys are going to be the best parents ever. Every first time parent is a deer in the headlights once that baby comes, that is part of the ride. :)

You can call me anytime night or day if you ever have a question or just need some reassurance. In no way do I have all the answers but sometimes it is just nice to chat with another mom :) It can calm the silly concerns that new mommies have or validate the real concerns that new mommies have.

Oh I can't wait to see and meet this little gem! Luckiest Ninja ever!

P.S. I put your parcel in the mail today :) LOVES!!!

Cecily said...

You WILL be great parents. Don't worry about all the crazy things people are saying. People always try to be helpful and, as you know, sometimes aren't. I didn't have to wait as long as you, but because I did have to wait...what was hard for other people was not hard for me. I'm sure it will be the same for you. I was just so grateful! It will feel like Christmas everyday! So excited for you and Stuart!

Lindsay said...

you're gonna kill your baby if you don't feed her cookies at 9am every morning. just some advice you should listen to... since i'm all knowing.