Sunday, September 16, 2012

One whole year.

We had our family picture taken earlier this month by Wendy of Blue Lily. She's a kindred spirit and I love her to bits. She first took our picture last March in San Francisco right before we somehow (?) ended up pregnant - I'm not blaming them, I'm *just* saying that it was the only thing we did differently that month ;)

One year later we were able to have her take our picture again, this time as a family of three, and Autumn is the squishy one in the pic instead of  me!
Photos by Blue Lily

Excuse me whilst I go make sure I'm not pregnant again...

You can see my weight loss blog here.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Chicken legged baby.

I'm getting to that stage where I can think about having another baby someday. My nether regions are feeling better. My routine has settled. I feel like I've got the hang of this! Mostly, when I see pictures of Autumn all tiny and floppy my heart breaks a little because that tiny baby is one sturdy chunk now and time has gone SO fast, but I also get pretty excited since I've kept her in one piece this whole time. It's weird to miss that tiny little creature that was always puking on me and keeping me up ALL night... those were seriously hard days, and even harder nights. The emotions are like a warm front and a cold front clashing.

I'm so excited to see her learn new things every day and to be introduced to little specks of her character but I do also really miss that little squeaky, chicken legged, pink, eyelashless human that I was terrified "they'd" take away from me because she wouldn't eat, that we didn't bath for a full week because we were too scared to... I miss that sleepy little being a lot even though she was only about for a few months.

I never imagined motherhood feeling like this. Nor did I understand what it was to love unconditionally or so fiercely until Autumn.

Someday... maybe... yeah... Oh how we love her!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

The wisdom of strangers.

In March of 2010 I took a trip home to Scotland on my own for 7 weeks. The whole experience was something I'll treasure forever - being the 5th of 6 kids having time alone with my parents like that was something I never experienced before. But that's beside the point...

I had a window seat next to an Indian woman, on the plane. We made a little small talk on our journeys to our homes. She had been in the US visiting her son who is a doctor in Seattle. She told me how she visits twice a year on her own and how proud she is of her only child. She asked me if I had a husband and told me how her husband is successful in Delhi and a little about the history of her country and the similarities between Scottish history and Indian history. Ok, I made small talk and she talked big.

She noticed I didn't eat during the flight and gave me some dried prunes she had brought with her. Then she asked if I had any children.

"No," I said. The usual feeling of embarrassment and shame followed as I expected her to pity me like most did. It was routine by then.

"Do you want children?"

"We do."

"Can I give you some advice?" she asked as she looked me up and down.

"Yes." Everyone has advice. Everyone is a critic, I thought. Everyone has some sort of judgement to vocalise.

"You need to lose weight and eat more fiber if you want to have children."

Plain and simple. Painless. The exchange has stayed with me and I kept it to myself for a long time kind of treasuring it and mulling it over. The way she looked at me and judged how to deliver the tip. Blunt. Seriously blunt. And I'd never heard that one before!

I wish I could show her, although I'm sure she knows she was right but I did it.

Indian lady on the plane, I did it.

Thank you.

Do you know the benefits of losing 5-10% of your body weight in regards to fertility? It's astounding.
Read a short article about it here.