Let's go away for a while...

Oh mother, where art thou?

2012-01-18T23:08:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday the 28th of December my mum turned up on my doorstep dressed as a Christmas tree. I suspected she was going to show up. In fact I was so confident about it that that was the first day I even got dressed (and showered) after having the baby. Lindsay delivered her to me and we went on to have a really great 2 weeks. We were able to get out of the house almost every day, ate a lot of tasty food, talked and laughed a lot, took a lot of pictures, snuggled with a baby a lot, bought a new couch set...

January 30th: Hayward Japanese Gardens

It meant the world to me to have her here. She had it planned and tickets bought since November not knowing when the baby would even be born. It was a stroke of luck that Autumn was 2 weeks early, giving us all plenty of time to spend relaxed with each other instead of in labour etc.

Oakland Temple

I'm not a terribly needy person - not openly anyway and so I was prepared to soldier on and deal with anything that came my way baby-wise but had really wanted my mum to be here. I was scared of post partum depression and not being able to spot it if it was happening. The chances of it happening would be less with my mum about and what do you know, no depression here! When I told her about my fear she said, "don't worry about that, it's not in your genes."

Crissy Field

I'd get up in the morning and the blinds and curtains would all be open, the dishes would be done and she'd be looking for more to do. I'd set up skype for her, I'd feed the baby, she'd settle the baby and send me back to sleep. I'd be happy to keep her here forever!

Autumn was all about Granny too and I think she became quite attached to the nickname granny gave her - Pandora. She loved her singing, bath time, the comfy lap and chin nibbles. She helped us get into a good daily routine and was happy to answer my motherhood questions and lend a hand at any moment. Autumn can turn a little feral through the night. My mum would often appear in our bedroom doorway offering to take the baby and try to settle her so I could get some rest before the next feed. I didn't always take her up on the offer but I certainly appreciated her 2am visits and her magic touch when I would hand the baby over.

The 2 weeks went by too quickly but I wasn't terribly sad to send her home to my lonely dad. They'll both be back in the summer and we'll get to have a new set of adventures and a chance to make some more memories.

I'm looking forward to that :)

27 weeks | 4 weeks

2012-01-15T23:42:00.002-07:00

Right after you give birth...

2012-01-15T18:38:00.000-07:00

1. Your lungs feel weird, like punctured balloons. They have space inside your body but they take a little while to adjust until you can actually take deep breaths again.

2. When your stomach rumbles the sound is amplified because there's a lot of empty space for it to bounce about until your organs all settle back in their rightful locations.

3. Heartburn stops in an instant after months of torment.

4. Cravings are no more.

5. The time you used to spend doing tiny wee's is spent staring at the little wonder that you just birthed.

We love her.

2012-01-13T22:27:00.002-07:00

Autumn: 3 weeks: Things to remember

2012-01-09T11:35:00.001-07:00

1. Autumn is the same outside as she was inside as The Ninja but with sound effects. She takes ages to stretch when she wakes up; arms, legs, back, face, feet, hands over and over, stretching, yawning, twisting. I think she'll be tall.

2. Sound effects: She knows all her animal sounds already. She can screach like an eagle - a single screach for attention. She growls like a bear when she's got bubbles which is often in her sleep as well as when she's awake. She snorts like a piglet and screams like a banshee every so often. She sometimes sounds like she's laughing which is usually followed by a sound that doesn't come from her face, if you know what I mean... She also hic-ups like me - loud and irritating - and sneezes like her dad and great grandpa. On top of those noises she does a pretty good puppy impression - her tongue is always sticking out.

3. She hardly fed for the first 4 days of her life and dropped from 7lbs 9oz to 6lbs 15oz by day 3. At 2 weeks old after learning how to get her to open her mouth she was up to 7lbs 11oz. She's almost out of newborn sizes.

4. My mum showed up as a surprise on December 28th when Autumn was 10 days old. We've been out almost every day on a short jaunt which I've really appreciated. I worried about becoming a hermit after the baby was born and I also worried about being too nervous to let her ride in the back of the car by herself. I'm happy to say she's survived back there in her carseat without me beside her.I've really loved having my mum here. She's been helpful but has also let me learn and not taken away my independence with the baby. I've learned a lot from her and been comfortable with her teaching techniques - she knows me :)

5. Comfort: yesterday was the first day I've felt a little more comfortable sitting after birthing my big noggin'd baby. On top of that, on Saturday my mum bought us a new 3 piece livingroom suite. I'm not to mention how uncomfortable money makes me. I'm to accept the gift and allow others to receive blessings without making things awkward... I'm looking forward to sitting comfortably on Wednesday. Thanks mum and dad :)

Stinky baby gets a bath.

2011-12-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

Autumn was born on Sunday the 18th and it took us a whole week to work up the courage/be forced to bathe her. She started smelling a little sour and then took the opportunity to blow out of her nappy whilst being introduced to her uncle Scott over skype on Christmas morning.

The puj tub is a keeper.

Autumn's arrival.

2011-12-27T17:02:00.001-07:00

Sunday, December 18th 2011.

Photos by Melinda

Autumn: The Great Escape

2011-12-24T23:22:00.001-07:00

On Thursday (December 16th) we went to our 38 week midwife appointment. During the appointment I expressed how I really didn't want to go over my due date (December 30th) because Stuart would be going back to school January 3rd etc. Plus, I felt like she would come early anyway. I'd been having regular contractions since the Sunday (December 11th) that were getting stronger. Treesa, my midwife asked if I'd like my membranes stripped to see if that would help get things moving along a little quicker. She said she'd only do it if my cervix felt like it was ready...

I had my cervix "massaged" and went on my way dilated to 1cm and 40% effaced with a nice squishy cervix. On Friday we decided to go out one more time to the cinema and see the new Sherlock Holmes film where I had contractions every 15 minutes throughout the film and was starting to get really uncomfortable.

Friday went and Saturday came. Contractions went and contractions came. My mucus plug started going and things were moving along. I was expecting to have her on Monday but through the night things picked up by 10pm I was 5cm dilated and by 2am contractions were about 2 minutes apart and the midwife and my good friend, Melinda were on their way.

I laboured through the night and got up after a quick rest at 7am to get things going. I did laps and squats around the back garden, sat in the birth tub and completely zoned out - eyes shut until she was born - in order to manage my pain.

When things were getting to be a bit much Treesa checked me on our pull out sofa bed and found I had a little lip of cervix that needed to thin before I could really push. I had to push a bit in order to help it thin and whilst doing that my waters exploded. Exploded with a bang. My eyes were closed throughout most of the labour and I can still hear everyone gasp after the sound of my waters breaking and spraying everywhere. It was one of the weirdest, funniest things I've experienced. There was also quite a bit of meconium in the fluids, not a good sign.

From there I pushed for 18 minutes and Autumn Olivia made her entrance (exit?) in true Ninja style. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, looped over her torso, and tied up one of her legs. Thankfully Treesa recognised something wasn't quite right and knew how to maneuver her out safely.

Stuart cut her cord and she was placed on my chest where she started rooting about for a food source...

And that's the quick, non gory version of how the ninja escaped!

...and I feel fine.

2011-12-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

A couple of nights ago I was telling Stuart that I think I have a better understanding of how I'd answer the question, "if you only had a week left to live, how would you spend your time?"

It's been on my mind the fact that Stuart and I have spent almost 8 years together just the two of us. We have our own way of living, communicating, organising, functioning together. We're maybe not exactly like a well oiled machine but we'd pass as oiled at least. We're excited to add a new little cog to our machine and for this part of our lives to change.

We're making the most of these last couple/few weeks by pretty much doing nothing... together. It feels like Saturday every day and we love it! Granted, part of why we're doing nothing, together is because we're trying not to get sick by doing nothing, with other people but still... together is together and that's our favourite. If you had a week left to live you'd spend it together with a loved one, I'm sure of it.

The closer we get to meeting our baby, it seems that the people who were most excited for us have turned into warning sirens. The "you're going to be amazing parents!" and "this couldn't have happened to two more deserving people!" comments have turned into "you have no idea how hard this is going to be" and "better get some sleep now because you're not going to get any for the next few years" etc. The excited ones are now posting articles about SIDS and discussing birth defects in front of us. It's like people can't help but feel some need to try and "prepare" us for things already looming in the back of our parental minds. It only adds to the already sleepless nights and moments of anxiety and loneliness - yes I know how difficult this is going to be without having the comfort of my own mother by my side! Constant reminders like these are really not helpful. It feels like we're being set up for I-told-you-so's at one of the most delicate times of our lives.

Nothing baby related has been in our control from the beginning, that's why it took us so long to get to this point. I have faith that whatever does happen with also be right for us, that there is a plan no matter what. We're here now for a reason, we're ready for it, we want it...

Carmel-by-the-sea

2011-11-25T22:04:00.001-07:00

Today we took a spontaneous little day trip out to Carmel-by-the-sea. By the time we arrived and had collected our picnic ingredients we were a little behind on the schedule we never set for ourselves. We found a state park and decided to head in, park, eat, and explore. By the time we found parking and ate we had about an hour left before the park closed so we dawdled about on the shoreline and Stuart and Kirsten took a look in some tidal pools. We watched the sun set then drove 2 hours home.

Although it was a long drive both ways for the little exploration we did, we got to enjoy the sunshine and took in some sights we've never seen before. It was a pretty lovely day; a successful jaunt.

26 pick up sticks, 27 feels like heaven...

2011-11-19T22:37:00.001-07:00

Twenty five was a pretty excellent year for me. I ended 2010 the way I wanted to go on with 2011, aka Year 26.

At the start 26 Stuart and I cut the nonsense and decided to lose weight. Combined we lost about 50lbs by the end of January. Stuart lost a smidgen more than I did but I lost just over 10% of my body weight. We both did really well and I'm looking forward to our routines when we can start exercising together again.

In February of 26 we came to terms with our childlessness and decided to add our own addition to the family, Roxy our puppy. After one night we had to take her back to her family. We were heartbroken over the whole situation - she was too young to be separated. She didn't have a bark, couldn't chew food or drink from a bowl. It was a milestone for us to commit to raising a little critter though and it changed us on a few different levels.

In March we had our pictures taken professionally for the first time ever. That was huge for us. We never had a photographer at our wedding, we never had engagement pictures or holiday pictures, we've never had pictures taken together just the two of us. When Wendy and Tyler (Blue Lily photo) came to town right after our 7th wedding anniversary it worked out that we were able to meet up in San Francisco for a super quick session.

I graduated school in June AND also made a HUGE announcement on Fathers Day. We somehow managed to get pregnant. Miracle of absolute miracles! I've not been private about the fertility struggle we went through, the emotions, lessons etc. I feel like the weight loss, the puppy, the professional pictures, and graduating from school were all things we were meant to do before having a child. Right at the moment of seeing that positive pregnancy test everything felt like it fell into place. This is exactly how it was meant to be. I remember the struggle and the yearning but the heartache and shame are fuzzy memories now. Looking ahead is much nicer than always looking backwards and focusing on negatives. Anyway, that would be the biggest part of the year/our lives right there and the biggest lesson I think I've ever learned and possibly ever will. I could talk about it a lot because it blows my mind!

July through September I was nothing but a blob of exhaustion, yuckies, and adjustments. In August we found out our little Ninja is a girl. Stuart also felt her kick for the first time after make us fajitas - another highlight of the year.

In October I decided to get my wiggle on and launch my website in order to start making some money and use my degree. I've had a pretty great time making and selling holiday cards this season and I'm excited to focus more on birth announcements and other fun things come the new year. By the end of October I was settled with myself and feeling fulfilled and on the right track. I've never felt like that before.

Now it's November and 26 has ended. 27 is going to be a lot different than 26, different but the same. That feeling of fulfillment is still here even though I can hardly stand up without a push, or put my shoes on myself. It's still right. My life is how it's supposed to be right now. There's a lot of different changes on our horizon.Surprisingly the biggest change is not the scariest.

Here's to 27!

Making room for Ninja

2011-11-16T15:24:00.001-07:00

Where have I been? I don't know. Sleeping, thinking, having braxton hicks, playing words with friends, working, bursting out of my clothes...

I've been trying to organise the babies room. It seems like we (Stuart) just keep putting our (his) rubbish (clothes from the day) in that room. Keeping on top of it has been a hassle but this morning I conquered most of it.

Here's how her room's looking so far... Pretty much done now that we have the crib!

We just need her bedding set, changing pad cover, book shelf and a couple of little other things to finish it off properly.

The countdown is officially on with around 6 1/2 weeks to go!

Free Thanksgiving printable

2011-11-02T17:22:00.001-07:00

Get it here.

Getting down to business...

2011-10-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've been working hard on stocking my online store with new holiday card/ baby shower/ announcement templates over the last few months - between naps and building baby furniture. It's come together really well and to launch the store I've set up a special coupon code for those who have had family pictures taken already and are searching for the perfect holiday photo card already to get ahead of the Christmas rush.

The coupon code is EARLYBIRD50 and can be used at checkout. You'll receive 50% off your purchase. 10% off is never enough to entice me, 25% is more attractive but 50 - 75% is my personal favourite so I'm giving it to you!

Click the image above to go to the shop and see. If there's nothing you fancy I'm open to custom work but you need to know what you want and fast - I've got 9 weeks left before this baby comes out and my brain is shutting down by the day ;)

Fulfillment.

2011-10-24T16:59:00.002-07:00

When we first moved to California Stuart strongly encouraged me to find fulfillment in my life since for the previous 5 years I'd been entirely dedicated to following him on his educational journey and supporting him wherever that took us. I'd expected along the way to become "with child" and so didn't engage myself in any commitments that would be affected by becoming pregnant.

Pregnancy was always the next goal, the next logical step and expectation of us. We never felt too much pressure within our own relationship to focus very hard on that next goal because we were ok with each other and the pattern our life was following ie. autumn and winter in Rexburg, Idaho and then summers working in Washington. The main thing that made not achieving it difficult was explaining to people how long we've been married and how many kids we don't have. Feeling judged and embarrassed or like everyone knew there was something wrong with me that I didn't know about; that's when it was the most difficult. Those feelings took root deep in my sense of who I was meant to be, the spirit of my womanhood. The more time that passed, the more hurtful and regular those looks and sometimes, comments became and the stronger the roots took hold. I felt like I was failing at something I was supposed to have been made for and also confusing because I felt like I didn't really want it when I should have. It was frustrating because I had no control and no answer for why our attempts were failing - now I know differently.

My story is no secret, I have shared it before. What is new is that a few weeks ago whilst watching the LDS General Conference I gained some understanding and true contentment like never before; perspective that's really rounded my character. I feel practically enlightened!

I feel like I've been extremely blessed the last couple of years since moving to California and working on fulfilling my potential: we moved into a little house, I got my degree in graphic design, lost a good chunk of weight, became pregnant... Lots of really great stuff all coming to pass through hard work, planning and faith.

That Sunday whilst watching conference a talk by Robert D Hales really left a huge impression. The little quote they use from the talk, on the website is this:

"The purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences."

The quote that my mind keeps wandering back to is, "In my life I have learned that sometimes I do not receive an answer to a prayer because the Lord knows I am not ready. When He does answer, it is often “here a little and there a little” because that is all that I can bear or all I am willing to do."

Yes. That is why I'm where I am now. All those years of knowing what direction I was expected to go in wasn't the direction I honestly, truly wanted to go in. I needed to be prepared to do my "here a little and there a little" before receiving a blessing I was being prepared for. I did my part. I knocked and then received - a change of heart and eventually this wiggly baby.

Hard work, planning and faith. Here a little and there a little.

"Waiting upon the Lord gives us a priceless opportunity to discover that there are many who wait upon us. Our children wait upon us to show patience, love, and understanding toward them. Our parents wait upon us to show gratitude and compassion. Our brothers and sisters wait upon us to be tolerant, merciful, and forgiving. Our spouses wait upon us to love them as the Savior has loved each one of us." ---Robert D Hales

Read, listen to, or watch the talk here.

Timeline.

2011-10-13T13:51:00.002-07:00

I was going back over my facebook statuses to update the Stuff Stuart Says section and decided that since I was way back in January that I'd put together a timeline of pregnancy related events leading up to where we're at now. Then I remembered that the day we found out that we're pregnant I started a new private blog for us - have I already said this before? It feels like I have.

Anyway, here's the post about the reactions from my family members:

"We decided over the weekend that it might help the news seem more real if we told our families. Honestly, after seeing my mum and dad's reaction on Friday I just wanted to make more people cry! Ha!

I told my mum and dad over Skype of Friday towards the end of our chat because it seemed like they (my dad) already knew somehow. It's also harder talking face to face with someone and not sharing news like that! I try to get on skype a couple of times a week and have been missing for a couple of weeks due to my new sleep habits. It wouldn't be long they'd put it all together. I told them.

We wanted to just tell parents first, since we were only about 7 weeks into the pregnancy . On Saturday morning Stuart text his parents a picture of the pregnancy test and made sure to tell them to keep it to themselves, just the two of them. We got a voicemail from his mum and we could hear his youngest sister, Danielle in the background... We didn't want anyone to feel left out so we text his brother and other sister the pregnancy test pic too and enjoyed those reactions.

By Saturday night I decided it was only fair to spread the joy a little further and to keep things fair I sent a private message on facebook to my own siblings:

"Barf's out of the bag - Stuart and I are expecting a baby in January!

I'm about 7 and a bit weeks along and really excited! We just found out on Thursday night and would really like to keep it quiet for a few more weeks until we find out everything's ok.

YAY!

Love to you all xx

PS. Can someone make sure Andrew gets this message? I don't know the best way to get a hold of him."

Wendy: "Awwww Porridge ... I love, love, love this news! big high five to u & Stu!!!"

Emma: "Oh wow!!

For some reason I can't see your message on FB but I can in my email notification on gmail!

So I should start to save up to visit you next year!?.. That's so so so exciting!! I have to tell Nora she is going to have a little cousin! (will be her first little cousin!)
SO exciting!!!.. Thinking it may have worked out best after all with little Roxy dog?! xxxxx"

Mum: "There is sunshine in my soul today, more glorious and bright but i can't stop crying tears of extreme joy Xx."

Dad: "Oh, I am going to have another Skype Grand Child! God Bless the three of you ! I am so happy for you .... life will never be the same again, you only get what you deserve"

Andrew: "i thought dad would have informed you the best way to get a hold of me is round the neck, great news little Lau. im telling michele hope you dont mind. x"

Scott: "that's brilliant news. i'm really happy for you and Stu (and mum and dad) i shall resist the urge that overtook mum and not write hymn lyrics, but there is a wee tear in my eye right now, but don't tell anyone. Love you x"

It's hard not telling EVERYONE because the reactions are just the BEST! It's for that very reason I'm avoiding facebook chat for the next couple of weeks."

There was no reply from Beki and when I asked her about it weeks later she said, "Yeah I got it. Du everyone seems to be at it!"...
That's the only response I've got from her concerning the pregnancy... or rather, the only thing at all directed towards me since June.

An afternoon stroll.

2011-10-06T22:46:00.001-07:00

On Sunday I freaked out. I freaked out good. I went to the babies room and I started writing down what we have for her and in what sizes, I also took a huge mental note that the corner for her crib is still not filled. My list of what we have was short: 3 full newborn outfits, 3 onesies in each size from newborn to 9 months, 4 pairs of socks, 4 blankets, a boppy... I then went to gerber.com to see what they suggest we have in each size and let me tell you it's a LOT more than 3 onesies in each size!

I sent out an APB on facebook (and if I'm being honest I don't even know what an APB is) to see if any friends have baby girl clothes they're looking to part with. Send em my way and I'll pay the shipping. I started worrying about all the clothes we need to get, the toiletries, diapers, bedding, crib, stroller, car seat, diaper bag etc. and where the money was meant to come from to pay for all that stuff. We're paying for this babies birth out of our own pockets and birth ain't cheap!

Lindsay came over with her month old baby girl and took a look at what we have. She assured me we aren't anywhere near being ready.

That night we purchased the crib.

Today at 3pm there what a knock at our front door and a thump on the doorstep, "YAY! A package!" I exclaimed expecting our usual sized box from amazon or maybe an Avon box from Stuart's gran. Stuart opened the door and brought in a HUGE box! I recognised what was in the box from the image on the side - the travel system from our registry and I instantly suspected who it was from but being sensible and cautious had to look into it first, just in case. You don't want to go accusing someone of something this great if it wasn't them. That'd be awkward.

The clues continued pointing towards the original suspects and a shipping label was found to confirm it. I'm still totally amazed by the whole turn of events. To go from worrying that we'd never be able to leave the house with the baby because we don't have a car seat to all of a sudden having it appear on our doorstep - the one huge expense I'd been afraid to face!

Thank you so much girls! I'm so excited and blessed to be a part of your "group" and to have you in my life ("life"? ;) You have no idea how much this means to us and how in tune with things you really are. I'll be saying an extra special prayer of thanks tonight for each of you.

Dolphin Ninja baby has the best (and most) aunts ever :)

Week 27: weigh in.

2011-09-30T11:12:00.001-07:00

I won't lie. I've been worried about my weight gain during this pregnancy and that I'd fall into the whole "eating for two" mindset which is dangerous since it's recommended you only eat 300 more calories a day during pregnancy and as Stuart explained (he explains a lot) that's only like eating an extra Snickers bar, not a full on meal. I do feel like I'm putting on a lot of weight (and eating all the time); I'm always scared to weigh in.

My starting weight was 204 lbs (14.5 stone). My lowest weight, thanks to morning sickness was 194 lbs (13 stone) and since then I've gained 7.1 lbs. So I'm still under my starting weight and the baby is still good and healthy, and enjoying the food storage I already have on my bones - and also the numerous egg salad sandwiches I each every week.

27 weeks pregnant and a weight gain of 7 lbs. Not bad! Let's hope I can keep things in check during my last trimester - which started today! 13 weeks left!

Busy business

2011-09-23T15:25:00.001-07:00

I've been busy working trying to get a collection of holiday card templates put together to stock my etsy with this Christmas season. Along with finishing up www.sugargrenade.com, restarting the Sugar Grenade Designs page on facebook and decorating the baby's room I've been getting very creative and I love it!

If you feel like it you can help me out by liking the Sugar Grenade Designs facebook page and share it with your facebook friends. It'd be much appreciated :) I'll be sharing some free printables on my website and hopefully filling up my etsy really soon with lots of templates - keep me in mind when you're looking for holiday cards and keep your eyes peeled for lots more designs coming throughout the year.

Speaking of peeled eyes, have you see the Zombie family portraits I was commissioned to do this month?

The tale of one tooth.

2011-09-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

This month I've experienced the wonder of gentle, efficient, prompt dental surgery and I marvel at the whole event.

Firstly, I've not had insurance for the whole time I've been here - almost 8 years.

Secondly, I had a root canal done in the wrong tooth 8 years ago in the UK.

Thirdly, when you have a root canal done in the wrong tooth and you don't have insurance for 8 years it means the original painful tooth is just going to rot and hurt more and more, year by year until one day you want to smash your own face in because it'll feel better than the constant aching and throbbing.

I contacted a man from church who's a dentist and didn't expect much to come of it. I was prepared to have to deal with my dental affliction for months longer before I either pulled the tooth out myself or we acquired dental insurance.

He phoned me on Saturday night and arranged to have me meet him at his office after church the next day. Whoa! An example of what we deal with back home is this:

Wendy, my oldest sister knocked her two front teeth out with her car door one day. She had to wait for two toothless months before getting to see a dentist...

I was astounded and excited by the turn of events of that Saturday night.

The next day I experienced some new fangled dental technology and listened to a dentist so passionate about what he was doing that Stuart ended up questioning his choice to be a Chiropractor. It was pretty amazing.

First he used a little topical anesthetic to the area he was going to inject with local anesthetic so it wouldn't hurt. Hullo! I have never had a dentist do that! They usually just go straight in with the jag and that's where the trauma begins.

Today I had the temporary filling replaced with my first ever, pretty, white filling. The last week and a half have been glorious - no ear ache AND I've been able to drink water without shooting pains in my tooth that made my eyes water.

I'm so thankful for people who are willing to help out people in need, people that they don't even know! That's compassion for you - and a blessing for me.

(This is absolutely worth blogging about for me. Have you seen my teeth?)

6 month thump-thump

2011-09-10T14:12:00.001-07:00

Womb with a view.

2011-09-08T20:47:00.001-07:00

I'm excited with how the babies room is coming together. I've had energy these last few weeks to clean out the spare room and 7 years worth of accumulated rubbish we've been toting, storing, and adding to for a long time.

I didn't want to start on her projects too soon because we had no storage solutions and everything was messy. Stuart started picking up big plastic tubs from Target and we started sorting and filling them. Nice and organised. Clutterless. We went to Ikea and picked up another expedit unit, like the one in our living room and took it from there.

Things have come together quickly and I love it. We're using the colours from the quilt Stuart's mum bought for the baby. I'd been eyeing it for months and months - basically anything Sherbet Pip on etsy has my heart. I think I might need another one for the daybed in there...

Blue, red, yellow, grey, stripes, polka dots, pom poms... Yum. Yum. Yum.

23!

2011-09-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

Belly's popped out a lot in the last few days. It's weird how I never really notice it until I see it from the side like this. I have to admit, I don't look half as blubbery as I feel. I look surprisingly neat, in my own opinion.

Pregnancy dreams: 23 weeks

2011-09-02T19:07:00.001-07:00

My family were visiting me. I brought them to my house and was getting ready to entertain them when my older sister Emma cut in and told us that she was going clubbing instead. She hadn't been in a long time and so she had decided that that was what she was going to do - after an 18 hour flight and arriving in America to see me. I was confused. Then my dad told me he was heading out too. He had decided he was going to go to the cinema that night.

They left and apparently altered my mood so drastically that I became electric. Blue bolts of crazy started shooting out my hands and into my older brother, Andrew who was not loving my party trick.

After a while things got fuzzy and I found myself walking along a train track with Zooey Deschanel. We were fugitives... It felt like I was dreaming all night long and lots of what happened can't even be fathomed enough to be put into actual words. It's no wonder I spend so long confused these days.

We're having a...

2011-08-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

We secretly had our ultrasound today and found out our baby has 2 legs, 2 arms, a healthy heart and kidneys, a good healthy brain and big noggin, a cute little nose, nice big lips and a big bum.

When baby first came up on the screen it was having a nice big yawn. We were tickled pink :)

Pink as in, it's a girl!

20 weeks

2011-08-15T16:32:00.003-07:00

* It's been a few weeks since I've been sick
* I can stay awake all day without randomly falling asleep
* I can go out for longer than 15 minutes before being ready to come home
* I can eat food again... lots and lots of food ALL the time
* I can cook food without being sick
* I get hungry really fast nowadays
* The baby is kicking all the time and keeps me awake at night
* I've had a touch of heartburn which is under control thank to Lara and this
* My hair has stopped being crispy and falling out
* I don't have much to complain about anymore... those were a rough 18 weeks though!
* I'm half way done!

What I'm eating: egg salad sandwich for breakfast and watermelon all day long.

Dear baby,

2011-08-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last night your dad made some suggestions for dinner. Nothing was sounding that good until he said "fajitas". You wanted them, I wanted them. It was the unity between fetus and mother that I dream about and all thanks to your dad. I knew right then that we're all made for each other and that those fajitas had to be made for us too - if your dad knew what was good for him!

I ate 3. I stuffed us full of orange pepper and onion goodness, with some chicken in there just for the protein. We do need the protein. Cheese, sour cream, a little hot sauce... heaven! If we hadn't run out of tortillas I'd probably have eaten more.

Then later I felt you partying extra hard in there. I could imagine you sucking the last of those fajitas through your umbilical cord, desperately hoping for more but knowing it's best not to over do it with such a good thing.

I called your dad over to see if he could feel anything because lately I've been feeling you prod against my hand but your dad hadn't been able to feel it yet. He'd been wondering if you were too shy or if he'd offended you but I kept telling him, "soon love, soon you'll feel it. Don't worry." He'd put his face to my belly and say, "please, just kick me on the face. Pleeeease!" but I don't think the food I'd been giving you had made you excited enough to perform. We have been enjoying a lot of watermelon these past few days though, right? I hope that's been as good for you as it has been for me.

Anyway, last night your dad put his hand on my stomach and continued with his studying - he has 2 exams today. I was thinking to you "kick him hard so he feels it when he's not paying attention to us!" He put his books down and I put his hand where it needed to be and you DID it! It was a big kick, or probably a high 5. It startled me and made him jump. The look on his face was priceless and we started laugh-crying. It was one of the best moments of my whole life! It made up for the months of sickness, and I promise if I'm sick again I won't blame you. I really think that was one of the happiest moments of your dad's and my 7 years of marriage.

Thank you, Fetus.
We love you.

Love and orange peppers,
Your mum x

PS. I need to go and tidy up because your Aunty Kirsten's on a plane coming here right now and I thought that was happening next month... Do you think you can kick her too? I hope so.

Baby: 18 weeks

2011-08-06T13:17:00.002-07:00

I had my 4 month prenatal checkup with our midwife today. It was all good news: no keytones in my wee, blood sugars at 100, I finally put on my first pound, blood pressure is 120/164 AKA "amazing" says Stu... We heard the thump-thump and it's nice and strong. It was a good visit! We're getting ready for the ultrasound and to find out the gender, hopefully in the next week or so.

Yesterday we went to Ikea - the furthest from home I've been in a LONG time, and I survived. We managed to get what we needed and not much else. I don't think we've ever spent as little as we did at Ikea. We (Stuart) started cleaning out the room for the baby and built the storage unit we picked up. I'm loving feeling things come together - the belly growing, the bedroom transforming...

Baby: Confession

2011-08-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

I've been quite reluctant to really blog about how excited I am right now because I have a lot of friends struggling with infertility at the moment. I suppose I feel guilty that I have what they want - and worse yet, that I'm happy to have what they want whilst they sit broken hearted... I've been there myself and there was never anything anyone could ever say to me to make me feel like things would be alright or fair.

The wait to come to terms with never having children seemed to take forever for me. I'd say a good 6 years or so. I began accepting it and gave up the burden of desperation to The Big Man in charge and it didn't take long before I was spending my time living more freely and learning along the way - I started getting healthy and losing weight, I got my degree in graphic design etc.

With the defenses gone I could honestly smile and be happy when friends would announce their pregnancies - their first, second, third, fourth pregnancies. It felt nice to be genuine and not have the cloud of selfish gloom hanging over me at those times. Without the, "why not me? what have I done to deserve this?" and other personal attacks I felt like I could breath and enjoy their special moment with them - like a true friend.

Infertility is personal though. It cuts to the core of your womanhood, womanly worth and faith. For me it felt like a punishment. I felt forgotten and a bit like a joke. God's own joke - "I put women down there to help multiply and replenish the Earth but not you, Laura! Neener neener neener!"

At this moment in time the wait seems like nothing. I hardly remember the angst of feeling and seeing my "monthly visitor". I hardly remember the crying, frustration, or depression now. I know it's made me more sensitive and in tune with others but when I think about it I feel calm instead of bitter.

Anyone going through this struggle will have heard, "everything happens for a reason", "your turn will come" - all words of wisdom from people who have what we want, people who never struggled or waited to get it. The truth is though, that things really DO happen for a reason.

Wait, trust and be patient because your turn WILL come. It's not going to be how you expect it - or it would have happened a long time ago BUT it'll happen and it'll make sense. It'll make the most perfect sense...

The first "I love you".

2011-07-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

That's my parents!

I love this guy.

2011-07-18T14:24:00.001-07:00

Stuff I love about Stuart and being in love with Stuart:

1. After 7 years of marriage and we're better friends than we started out.

2. He hugs and kisses me goodbye every morning and then proceeds to send "I love you" texts from the minute he leaves until he gets home.

3. He does the grocery shopping by himself and always comes home with stuff he shouldn't. When I point out it wasn't on the list he says, "I... I thought you'd like it?"

4. He's a genuinely happy person and you can tell even when you can't see him ie. he hardly ever just walks down our hallway but he skips or gallops, happy sounds.

5. He listens and reacts when I tell him what's going on in the tv show I'm watching and gives me theories as to what's going to happen next.

6. He knows and accepts he wouldn't be in Gryffindor. (He'd be in Ravenclaw.)

7. He loves to make me laugh. Sometimes I see him doing something silly to get my attention but I pretend to ignore him to see if he'll do it again more exaggerated. He does, every time.

8. He's a really good cook and even does the dishes without being asked.

9. He's completely secure with his nerdiness.

10. He remembers intricate details of the books he reads but forgets where his keys are.

Happy birthday, Stuee. There's a hundred bajillion more things about you that I love.

You're basically just the best!

Pregnancy: Cravings

2011-07-09T20:41:00.003-07:00

I've been trying my best to describe to Stuart what I've been experiencing through this pregnancy so he can understand why sometimes it seems like I'm going nuts.

Last night around 7pm I had a craving for chicken pakora from our favourite Indian restaurant. It was a desperate craving. Stuart asked, "are you sure you don't want some of the orange chicken I got for you that's in the fridge?" Big mistake. When a craving kicks in, don't question it. He learned that one fast! He left the room upset because I replied meanly and maybe louder than usual. He came back an hour later and asked if he should still go get the pakora. Yes.

I then tried to explain how a craving feels with a little analogy.

For me, these cravings feel almost the same as when I'm trying to recall a memory and it's almost there, on the verge of being remembered ie. on the tip of your tongue. It's close enough to remember how I felt but it's too foggy to remember the details...

Cravings are like that for me. The frustration that comes when you're desperately trying to remember a memory (or where you put your keys when you're running late) is what it feels like when I'm waiting for that food to get in my belly.

What do you think? Do you have an analogy for it?

Pregnancy dreams: Haiti

2011-07-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

I can't even pretend that I know where this one came from. It's so crazy that I feel like I'm not going to be able to describe it without drawing a picture!

I'm walking through a lush green forest with a guide who's telling me that Haiti is not what everyone says it is. The government is trying to make it sound worse than it is so nobody will visit and find out the secret. I'm fascinated and confused. He says I have to promise not to tell anyone what I see and that it's going to be hard for me to understand that the Haitians are extremely technologically advanced but he'll try to explain it to me as I see it all.

We emerge from the forest and I'm faced with something I could never have imagined.

In front of me is a vast wasteland. The ground is cracked and dusty. The sun is bright and really big. It sounds like a busy marketplace. The sounds of hustle and bustle aren't on the ground though. For as far as I can see the sky is filled with layers upon layers of junk yard metal (think huge Vegas signs etc.) welded together in little patched big enough for a little hut to live in and/or sell things from. The layers are chained to the ground and floating in the air. There's a clockwork feel about what I'm looking at.

There's ladders and flying plates to get from layer to layer...

But don't tell. It's Haiti's secret.

Pregnancy dreams: Baby daddy

2011-07-08T14:14:00.001-07:00

I've had a couple of bleeding episodes over the last couple of weeks. They're nothing to be worried about but, well I do worry. This dream is proof.

I'm sitting in a doctor's office with Stuart. The doctor, dressed in his surgery outfit tells me that since I've been losing too much weight and having these bleeding issues that I'm not taking good enough care of the baby. I try to explain that I'm doing my best but it's really hard and I don't have control over either of those things. The doctor tells me that since I feel I have no control over it then the only thing they can do is take the fetus out of me and put it in Stuart. He'll carry it, feed it, not bleed etc.

I look to Stuart expecting him to say something like, "let's give it another week before doing anything like that" but no, he's smiling and nodding his head in agreement.

They take the fetus out of me and put it in Stuart. He has a big preggo belly and is having a little trouble with his daily tasks. I ask if I can help him put his shoes on and he says, "no, remember I'm carrying the baby for a reason. You can't help!"

He doesn't let me help with anything ever and delivers a healthy baby... somehow.

Pregnancy dreams: Zombie attack

2011-07-08T14:01:00.001-07:00

Pregnancy has gifted me with the most amazingly vivid and bizarre dreams - maybe the main thing I'm really enjoying about being pregnant right now!

This is the first dream I had before knowing I'm pregnant and has been my favourite to remember because it was so clear and weird.

Where: our house in Hayward.

I'm sitting next to Andrew, my older brother on the couch watching him watch tv. I'm excited because I have a surprise for him. I look at him and then to the front door, waiting anxiously for the surprise to arrive. Loud air raid sirens sound and giddily I tell Andrew there's a surprise for him at the door and he'd best answer it. At this point I'm standing, getting ready to run out the back door.

Andrew stays sitting and tells me he's not in the mood for a surprise. He just wants to watch tv. I start getting anxious as something starts thumping at the front door. I tell Andrew that he HAS to answer the door and that I ordered a zombie attack for him. If he doesn't answer the door they'll break it down and kill us all. Andrew doesn't care. He can't be bothered. He asks me to reschedule it and I start shouting at him that I can't, they're already here!

My mum comes through and starts complaining about all the noise. I tell her that Andrew isn't going to kill the zombies and we're all going to die. She's not happy about this.

The zombies break in and I do a runner...

I presume Andrew at least died.

It's his own fault.

Wanna hear a story?

2011-06-20T14:04:00.002-07:00

I'm pregnant. 12 weeks today.

Wanna know when we found found? At almost 8 weeks.

Wanna know how silly I am? Course you do!

Well, I mentioned previously about how my Flash Animation class was REALLY difficult. It was so difficult that when I started feeling nauseous all the time I thought it was because of the stress of the class. When I started napping during the day I thought it was because I really wanted to avoid the class - the crazy, vivid dreams were worth all the naps. Stuart would come home from school and I'd start crying because I'd missed him so much and because my class was really upsetting me.

One day I had been feeling so sick and all I wanted was won ton soup. Nothing else. That was the day of the fortune cookie.

My class ended and the last before graduation began. For the next 2 weeks I kept losing my appetite but the need to snack all day long got stronger. I'd have to eat as soon as I woke up when usually I could wait until at least 9am.

All of these things added up in Stuart's mind and he pointed me towards the preggo tests at Safeway. It hadn't even crossed my mind. The missed period didn't even clue me in...

I got home, took the test just to rule it out. Within the last year I'd come to terms with being a family of 2 and can honestly say I loved the idea. Life just the 2 of us is good, comfortable and convenient.

Being a family of 3 is going to be great too :))

Miracles happen. Don't forget.

We've been married for 7 years - plenty of time to have a couple of "oopsies" never mind a few planned pregnancies. It took a long time to come but it finally did.

At the exact right time.

Week 6!

2011-05-05T16:19:00.001-07:00

What a week! Actually, what a 6 weeks! This morning I took my Flash Animation final and submitted my final project - a functional portfolio website I made for myself. It looks like this:

This was my hardest class yet. I think it was so difficult because I was learning from scratch. Having experience in photoshop and illustrator has really helped me get through my art classes. This was like learning a whole new language in 5 weeks in order to present a fully functional website at the end of it - and a lot goes into website building, I'll have you know!

Also, my friend Kristy just listed her sugar scrubs for sale (coming soon to etsy) that I designed the labels for a while ago and they look fab!

I feel like things are coming together! I've got 6 weeks - I have designs on tshirts (whole new summer line coming this month - designed by moi!) and products and the world is my oyster!

6 more weeks to go!

Forward.

2011-04-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

Today I start week 5 of 6 of my second to last block. Next block I only have one class and it's my portfolio class which I'm really looking forward to - the Flash animation class I'm doing right now has been a struggle for me and plus, it is going to be my last class, what's not to look forward to? With Sunday to Sunday school weeks I've not had much time to think about anything other than what's going on right now with the umpteen deadlines that are always in my face.

I had some time on Friday afternoon and Sunday night to think a little for fun - rather than forced thinking which is less enjoyable. For fun I was thinking about all the things I can do - all the things that are going to help pay off my loans - when I'm done with school. Then I was thinking about how I want to do SO much... too much really.

I need to narrow it down. What should I do? I feel like I want a break, like a few weeks of nothing but cleaning my house and organising everything that's been put on hold for the last 18 months. Should I restart my etsy right away? What should I sell? Custom invitations, announcements and cards, prints or things I make? Should I combine the two? Should I seek clients or just do my own thing?

Goodness. I need to make some lists.

It is exciting though and I'm sure this anxiety is pretty normal... right?

WHOWANTSTOHIREME? Excuse me. I have tourettes.

"And the sky was all violet..."

2011-04-22T10:53:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that I'm a dreamer, always have been, always will be. It's one of my favourite things to do. Another of my absolute favourite things to do is encourage others to make their dreams come true. When they've made one dream come true I like to encourage them harder to make MORE come true! Why stop at having one dream come true? To me, it almost seems like waste to only stop at one dream.

I grew up hearing, "You can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it." I really believe it because I have parents who believe it and taught me that. I've also put it to practice and know it's true.

This morning my new friend Camilla presented her dream in the form of online magazine The Violet. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but I had that feeling of pure excitement tumbling about inside my tummy this morning when I clicked on the link to view the first issue. Before even seeing it I was bursting with happy for her - it didn't even matter what it looked like because Camilla made her dream come true and that is amazing on it's own! Then I clicked the page to open it and was sucked right in - even from a graphic design stand-point.

I read it, cover to cover and ended so inspired and uplifted! There's a serious lack of this is in todays world, and Camilla's rounded up the best of the best in regards to writers (engaging and honest), images (clean and beautiful), subjects (inspiring and zesty) and given it to us. I love it!

I feel like it's such a treat that I can't not share it with all my lovies! Head over The Violet and take a gander. Don't stop there - be a part of making someone elses dream come true and share it, like it on facebook, make goals, try the recipes (I made her hummus recipe yesterday and it's all I plan on eating today), email her your experiences.

I have a dream of helping other peoples dreams come true. Have you ever had a goal that you just wished someone would appear out of nowhere and help you achieve it? We have opportunities to be that someone...

Speaking of goals and dreams are you making a summer list this year?

A spin on breakfast - for Rachel

2011-04-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

Rachel,
I don't make breakfast for dinner - except sometimes when we have cereal :S I fairly enjoy it when other people feed me breakfast for dinner though. However, I do have a new default recipe for when we're in the mood for breakfast and I don't want to make something huge/we leave it too late in the day/I don't want to dirty too many dishes (so I don't have to clean them).

Here's the recipe:

Frozen tater tots OR crinkle cut fries - basically any potato thing you have in your freezer. I like crinkle cut best)
1 can of cream of mushroom (or chicken) soup
Sour cream - sometimes I use a big dollop, sometimes I use the whole tub
Grated cheese - any kind you like and basically as much as you like
Fillers ie. cubed ham, diced onion, sweetcorn, cooked sausage, crumbled bacon, diced peppers...
A shake of hot sauce if you'd like

Preheat your oven to 350'f
Grease your dish - we use a 9 x 9 because we could eat the whole 9 x 13 which isn't good.
Cover the bottom of your dish with frozen tots/fries in a single layer
In a bowl combine soup, sour cream, and shake of hot sauce if you'd like
Add a handful (or 2) of cheese
Mix in your fillers - I like ham, sweetcorn and onion
Pour soupy mixture over tots/fries and spread to the edges as well as possible
Top with a little more cheese

Bake for 45 minutes until cheese is melty and sauce is bubbly.

It's not healthy in the slightest but it's easy to make, easy to customise, hot, filling, can be as cheap as you like, and I dare say it is comfort food too.

This is what we call Breakfast Casserole.

Time saver; brain saver.

2011-04-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Last week Stuart and I decided (again) to plan our meals out for the next couple of weeks in order to save dinner time frustration and brain power that's needed elsewhere. Stuart very kindly spent a morning flipping through a few recipe books and wrote down the name of 13 (10 of which are completely new to us) dishes, the page number and book it came from, and made a shopping list with all the ingredients we'd need to make them all.

This is our list. (x marks the ones we've had so far):
Gnocchi with ricotta and tomato basil sauce x
Fettuccine with creamy tomato sauce
Mexican potato frittata
Lemon-ginger chicken x
Chili x
Creamy tomato-basil soup x
Meatballs
Enchiladas
Lasagna x
Chicken tetrazzini
Sweet and sour meatballs x
French onion soup
Breakfast casserole x

As soon as I got home from grocery shopping I put together a big batch of meatballs, split them and froze them for throwing in the crockpot when I don't have time to cook. I made the lasagna and cooked it the night before we were going to eat it- it could then be frozen if we'd wanted or heated whenever - another time saver. Soup also saves well. Heaven!

I love being able to pick something off the list (we keep it on the fridge) in the morning and prepare for it through the day, and then have it ready for when Stuart gets home. It cuts out the whole "what are we having for dinner?" "what do you want for dinner?" "I don't know" "well I don't know either. Tell me when you know" conversation we'd have every single evening that always ended with us hungry and irritated at 8pm. I hate choosing what we're having for dinner.

I posted a few of the recipes on our recipe blog tonight. Let me know if you try any of them or if you have any I should try.

April.

2011-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

I've put everything, absolutely every-thing on hold these past 16 months. I know I've mentioned it before but I don't know if I can really express the extent of the "everything". I've taken very few photo's, blogged almost never, read very few books, slept in past 6:30am hardly ever, done absolutely no crafts, bakes very little... I haven't been myself. Waah waaaah!

Anyway, with almost just 8 weeks left until graduation I'm dreaming of the things I'm going to get up to, the goals I'm looking forward to accomplishing, the life I'm going to start living again. I can't wait!

Friends, I'm going to stop neglecting you verrrry soon!

Get me right.

2011-04-01T13:45:00.001-07:00

We celebrated our 7th Lover-versary at the start of March and righted something we both have regretted for a while now. We never had a photographer at our wedding, in fact we'd never had our picture taken together professionally at all. I've been desperately wanting to replace the very few pictures we have on our walls for years and years but have never really had anything perfect to put in their place - getting pictures taken takes time and money which we don't have much of either.

It just so happens that one of my best friendies, Wendy (Blue Lily Photo) is taking over the world with her photography right now and was in town just after our anniversary. We headed over to San Francisco in the rain for a quick photo sesh. It was so rainy and dull that I didn't get to wear my fabby skirt that my friend, Chiemi made for me but I have plans for that soon too, don't worry.

It feels so good to have put something right - don't ever think that you don't need a photographer at the most special events of your life. You do!

Stuart was nervous and talked through the whole session. It's a miracle Wendy was able to capture anything good between his talking and my constant shushing him. I love them though and they'll be taking pride of place on our walls for a long time!

Roxy.

2011-02-20T18:26:00.001-07:00

What a weekend. Wow.

Stuart and I have been talking for over a year about expanding our family in a way more under our control than the "natural" way ie. babies. For whatever reason babies just haven't happened for us and after this amount of time we've learned a lot of lessons about being ok with ourselves, the route our lives take etc. We are mostly ok with the idea of not having children although would absolutely welcome the opportunity.

I've gone through bouts of "lets-get-a-puppy!" and Stuart has been very excited that I finally came around the idea, as I am the anti-puppy. Last week I started to get really sad and the idea of the puppy came up again. Stuart felt the same way and unlike the other times the idea stuck. It stuck hard and seemed to be deeper rooted than the previous times the idea came up. It stuck all week and we decided we'd look about and follow the prompting we felt. We decided to look but wait a couple of months before choosing a puppy.

We worked out every aspect of raising and training and also the choosing of the puppy. We both had to fall in love with it and made a deal not to try and sway the other if they didn't click. We both recognise my ability to be more rational and felt this would play a serious part in our journey in choosing a pup.

On Friday we went to the animal shelter in town to see what they had and to check out the adoption process and vaccine options. We looked about and found little String Bean. I was taken with him, Stuart kind of was too but had a hard time connecting at the shelter at all. We left and he was sad because of the experience - he wanted to take them all home and felt guilty "judging" them with the other looking.

I left thinking Stuart didn't want to look any more which made me sad since on some mothering level I was looking for a little vessel to focus my nurturing, loving instincts on.

On Saturday morning I got up and Stuart was looking for local puppies being sold by owners. I was surprised and super excited. I had felt all along that we'd have a puppy by Monday. We found a selection of breeds, narrowed it down looking at temperament, health issues etc. and both decided on the chihuahua. Perfect. Small, happy, friendly.

We found three sellers. The first one was looking to rehome her puppy for free because of some new rules set by her landlord. Miss Cuddles was a tiny, 5 month old, house broken, vaccinated, black chihuahua who would come with all her supplies and was clearly adored. Stuart called the owner and left a message.

The next seller had a litter with some gorgeous little pups. I text and found out the info we needed. It didn't sit as well as Miss Cuddles so we moved on whilst waiting to see if the call would be returned.

We said a prayer to make sure we were doing the right thing. It felt completely right and meant to be. We asked to be guided in our decision making and to have the strength to make the right choice. We felt calm and like this was the answer - so cheesy and weird but that our family would expand and this would be how, for now.

The last litter had Stuart's heart from the first picture. He was smitten. We waited for the call from Miss Cuddles but it never came so Stuart called this seller. She still had two boys and two girls and we could go over and see them if we wanted. We wanted and we went, we choose and we left with the little bundle snuggled up in Stuart's hoodie in my lap.

We brought little Roxy home and everything was perfect. She was a little shivery to start with but she settled down and started playing and eating. We started with the potty training right away and found a little success - more than we expected. We were totally taken with the little rascal.

Another part of the deal was that Stuart would be responsible for taking her for her vaccines - through the shelter these are cheap. So I pulled out the calendar to start plotting when this would happen. That was when we realised she was much younger than we though. 6 weeks old. I started feeling sick right away knowing that she was too too too young to be away from the other pups. The first months are full of learning from the mumma pup especially. We couldn't provide her the warmth and comfort I felt she needed. She also wasn't drinking from her little bowl and could only manage soft food. She's still a baby.

I did some research and found that puppies that size shouldn't leave the litter until 8-13 weeks. 13 weeks is highly recommended so the puppy can adjust properly and in turn grow up to be better behaved and have less issues when it's grown, such as separation anxiety and some health problems.

Reluctant to bring it up with Stuart I started getting some anxiety myself. Our prayer was answered. I felt complete. This was our little family; Stuart and his girls.

I brought it up and Stuart agreed. She was too young and he was worried too. Selfishly we considered just keeping her but because of how young she is we knew we wouldn't be able to give her what she needed to grow up stable.

He made the call and left a message explaining that we couldn't keep the puppy and it would be best if they could take her back.

I went to bed, sick to my stomach. Stuart stayed up with Roxy and played with her, showed her to the potty pad and made sure she was warm. We had started putting her in her kennel when she was asleep so she could get used to that.

The night was long but it was ok. Stuart was amazing and got up with her when she started crying - every 2 - 3 hours. He'd take her out, take her to her potty pad, to her food, then play with her and snuggle her back to sleep and put her back in her kennel and come to bed.

He got up at 7 and stayed up. I could hear the little mite whining with him so I got up to relieve him. As soon as I was there and we were all together she fell asleep on my lap, and so did Stuart. It was perfect but then the realisation that she needed us both set in. I'm home all day, every day by myself. Stuart's gone from 7am until 6 and then he's studying hard for exams and tests. We don't get that much time together. He wouldn't get time with the puppy at all. Because of this I knew we were making the absolute right choice in sending her home.

I posted about it on facebook and received a lot of advice and suggestions. All were read and appreciated. I know some people would think that she'd be fine after a few nights. She probably would have but she would be even better after a few more weeks with her family. I didn't want her to just get used to me. It wouldn't be fair to keep her. Again that feeling of calm.

Stuart called again and left another message. An hour later the girl called back. With tears in his eyes and shaky voice he arranged to take her back.

And now she's home.

They're still selling the puppies and I don't suspect she'll still be there in 7 weeks when she'll be 13 weeks old. If she is it'll be because they're keeping her. They had named her Floppy and were pretty attached to her.

This weekend has been pretty exciting. It's been the worst and also the best, in the sense that Stuart and I were able to reconnect and bond over a brand new situation. We made two huge choices together and comforted one another over the last one which was to take her back. That experience made it into the top three hardest things we've ever done in our 7 years of marriage.

I turned into a sappy puppy person this weekend, a miracle! I miss her little face, her sticky kisses, and puppy breath. I miss being the three of us.

When I told my dad we were getting a puppy I knew he'd be against it. My family isn't a pet family. The only way I could explain how I felt was to ask how many kids do couples usually have within the first 7 years of marriage? Stuart and I don't have that, we never will because time is always ticking.

We'll get a puppy again and we'll do it right.

We did the right thing and like Stuart pointed out, the right thing seems to be the hardest thing, and this was one of the hardest things we've ever done.

She left a bigger void than the one she filled.

Cupid's birthday.

2011-02-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

Time has been completely getting away from me this year and I'm ok with it because on Friday I finished one more block of school leaving me with 3 more until graduation. In June I'll have time to blog, to find and do things worth blogging about, take pictures, sleep, tidy my house... June is going to be really great. I expect to have more control over my life in June and I won't have to take out my frustrations on my hair. My poor, poor hair.

As it is the day of love I took some time out and did something I love... got dressed up for no real reason other than to feel smashing. Here's my All Dressed Up attire, Valentines edition.

I was clearly letting my inner pin up girl out for a while and ended up with a lot of pictures I can't share with you without embarrassing myself or my family. So there you have it!

Dress and shoes: Target
Belt: H&M
Necklace: gift
Hair flower: gift

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

I want to see your Valentines Day outfits, join in the dressing up here.

January

2011-01-25T12:35:00.000-07:00

January is what feels like the longest month of the year but if you're Scottish you have January 25th to look forward to and the food and dancing that come with it. Today is Robert Burns' 252nd birthday... how old is America? Kidding.

Most American's I've spoken to are unaware that they "know" who Robert Burns is. He wrote "Auld Lang Syne" and many other poems and many many songs in his Scottish dialect. In fact the title of John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men", is taken from Burns' "To a mouse" ("The best laid schemes o' mice an' men, Gang aft agley")

He's so celebrated that in school we have Burns competitions where we all memorise and recite Scottish poems prizes are given to the kids whose parents coached them the best - probably the Scottish equivalent of the American "science project" or "Rube Goldberg", or "Pinewood derby".

With his birthday being a national holiday and having statues of him all over Scotland it's probably not surprising The Bard's birthday is celebrated with a traditional meal. Haggis, neeps (turnips) and tatties (potatoes) will be served all over Scotland tonight.

It's days like today I get hungry for home.

You can see pictures of his home from when I visited here.
And here's a video too.

Caitlin Grace

2011-01-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

I mentioned it on Facebook already but today would have been my youngest sister, Caitlin's 18th birthday. Every year is difficult but with milestone birthdays it's different, harder. I remember being 18, how could it be my youngest sister's 18th birthday? I try not to imagine too hard what it would be like if she was still alive but I can't help but wonder. I wonder if she was still alive if my family relations would be better...

I don't know.

Food for thought... or maybe not.

Hm.

All Dressed Up: Blowing off some steam.

2011-01-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

I'm a comfy dresser but today (for about 30 minutes) I decided to dress up just for All Dressed Up over at No Model Lady because I needed to take a little break from this hard, tough and difficult week.

This purple blouse is one of the reasons I decided to slim down. My mum sent it to me for my birthday but it was horribly tight over my chest and I struggled... ok, I had to have Stuart pull it off over my head in order to escape it. Don't pretend you've never got stuck in a blouse before! Today I managed to put it on and breath and I also managed to take it off without breaking a sweat!

Tshirt and jeans back on, water bottle filled, now back to work!

Goals: Weight loss

2011-01-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

Remember when Stuart and I went vegetarian for 3 weeks? 3 weeks turned into two months because we lost track of time and it was surprisingly a lot easier than we expected. It was the perfect kick start to our diet and weight loss plan.

Yesterday I reached my 20lbs weight loss marker - the first of a few 20's I think - and it feels SO good. Combined, Stuart and I have lost 46.4lbs. He's getting close to 30lbs off. We're pretty proud of ourselves.

I posted about it on facebook last night and everyone has been really encouraging. I thought I'd tell you some of the things we've been doing to help us reach our goals.

1. We did it together. I need someone there with me to encourage me. We lean on each other for support. We exercise together, talk about the goals, meals, future etc. It's made "getting fit" so much more enjoyable doing it together. We cheer for each other during weigh in. If we put on a little unexpected weight we give a pep talk and encouragement. When we reach our goals it's high fives all around. I love it. If you can't find that support at home you can try weight watchers or exercising with friends - Zumba anyone?

2. Make a menu plan with good healthy recipes found online. We then go shopping for the ingredients and bypass the "snacks" that were our weakness (Doritos). Just walk by them. Don't think about them, don't pick them up, just walk away. You don't need them, even if they are on sale.

The benefit of the menu plan is that you don't have to think about what's for dinner. You can write each meal on a calendar, know you have the ingredients on hand and that's it.

3. Make it a routine. In order to create a good habit you need to put yourself into a routine. Morning or evening is the best time to work out. Morning because it boosts your metabolism for the day and gives you those endorphins to keep you peppy. Evening you have energy to burn off and all the calories you've consumed through the day. We have dinner at 5 and exercise at 7 or 8, giving us enough time to wind down before bed at 10:30. If you can only manage to run for 10 minutes it's still exercise and it's a really great start - especially if you haven't been exercising for a long time.

Maybe in order to create a routine and to keep the pressure off yourself you can go swimming every Saturday with your kids? Keeping it fun is what keeps me going. I'm a fan of the Bollywood dance dvd's. Skipping (with a skipping rope) and hula hooping are two really good ways to burn calories. Even better you can put some music on get going skipping/hooping to the beat.

4. Start off slowly and take your body into account. There's no point pushing yourself further than you're physically able. Because of my back injury I often can't do more than 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes a day combined with healthy meals can make a difference. Be sensible.

5. Invest in exercise material that you love. Treat yourself to a sports bra, work out dvd, water bottle etc. as incentive to keep going. I know I've raved about it before but we invested in Wii Fit. We use it to track our weight and for the exercise routines. Stuart utilised this more than I did because I have to do low impact exercises for my back but Wii Fit gives you options for a whole range of different level impact exercises.

6. Set goals. The other thing we love about Wii Fit is that along with tracking weight we use it to set our weight loss goals. I always set mine for 2lbs in 2 weeks and have never missed a goal. Stuart sets his as 1lb in 2 weeks because he's scared of missing the goal - he always loses more. Underachiever. 2lbs in 2 weeks is an reachable goal. Sometimes it's REALLY close, like yesterday I hit it right on the nose down to the decimal but it works for me.

2lbs in 2 weeks is 15lbs (rounding)/ just over 1 stone in 2 months. Which is 6 stone in a year. Break it down so it feels like you can reach it and you'll feel less swamped by it.

7. Keep a journal. This one is optional but helps me. I have Stuart take pictures of my in my sports bra and pants every few weeks. I post it on a private blog along with my stats (week #, date, weight, BMI, complete amount lost). The results are not going to be visible within the first 10lbs lost except in your face but it's encouraging to have a small group of cheerleaders who point out how much thinner your face is looking or how your ribs are looking less padded. People want to support you and we all know that weight loss is a big, personal goal that is easier with encouragement.

These are all things that have helped us. I still have a good long journey ahead of me but I'm driven and I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm healthier now, my back is still painful every day but I feel like I can handle it better now and I imagine once I shed more of my meat that it'll feel better.

Be sensible and eat properly. If you struggle in the beginning it won't last long if you have the motivation you need. It didn't take long for us to stop over eating. Your body wants to be healthy so it makes changes on its own once you stop packing it full of giant meals and junk food. I've heard people who drink fizzy drinks regularly and quit can lose a good deal of weight by doing just that. If you're drinking caffeinated drinks regularly your body will thank you for replacing those with water.

If you've been thinking about losing weight but haven't found the motivation I hope this has helped you. If I can do it, you can. Seriously. And if you are on a weight loss regime let me know how you're doing so I can be your cheerleader.

Love is a weed.

2011-01-04T11:02:00.004-07:00

I'm British. I keep my emotions in check. I don't gush. I also don't participate in or encourage public displays of affection. I'm private. It might have less to do with being British than it does with being a quiet, shy child uncomfortable under supervision. Either way, I keep myself to myself, unless you're a good friend and then you probably wish I kept more to myself than I do when we're in private.

This is going somewhere, I promise. Just hang on.

It occurred to me as I was heading into the kitchen for a bowl of Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs that love is not like a flower (red, red rose). My love is actually like a weed. It's out of control, grows like nothing else, strangles anything that gets in it's way. It's powerful and unruly!

Then when I was putting my cereal box back on the shelf I thought about how regularly people will comment on how well Stuart and I go together. With how private I am it's kind of sneaky for anyone to actually see exactly how I feel about him but the truth is we are completely and utterly right for each other.

I obviously love him but what you don't know is that I struggle finding the right words to accurately express it to him. I get frustrated with "I love you". How on earth can those words be right when I love him a bajillion times more now than I did when I first said them?

Within my hard shell there's an extremely sappy core - literally and figuratively but I'm talking figuratively right now. I would do absolutely anything for that big lout. I get up at 6am to put his lunch together and set out anything he needs for the day whilst he's getting cleaned up and ready. I wave him off every morning and then sit for 10 minutes feeling sad that he's gone. When he is home I ask him every 30 minutes if he's ok and if he needs anything. If he needs anything I go get it, promptly and happily. We say "I love you" to each other about 47 times a day, randomly and the response is always surprised and gleeful, like it's the first time we've ever heard those words from each other.

He makes it easy to love him that much. When his alarm goes off in the morning he hits snooze and then curls up around me. He kisses me at least 3 times before he leaves the house. He waves vigorously as he drives off and three seconds later my phone buzzes and there's an "I love you" text. At night one of two things is likely to happen. 1) I fall asleep on the couch. 2) He has to study late and I need to go to bed. If I fall asleep on the couch I magically wake up in bed. He is magic. If I need to go to bed before him he takes me to bed, tucks me in and says a prayer before leaving. He's my anchor. We sometimes wake up holding hands. Even asleep we can't get enough of each other! How cheesy! I LOVE cheese!

He is it for me and I'm so confused about how it even happened, how I let myself become so dependent on someone else. I'm baffled by the amount of love I'm capable of how and how it keeps rapidly growing. He makes me so happy.

So I suppose I'm not really surprised by how obvious it is that we're perfect for each other. I don't think the love has anywhere left to go except out into the open, that's what weeds do. All this lovey-dovey stuff is certainly not to say that we don't argue or fight because we do, regularly. That crazy love is stronger though. We're both believers in constructive arguing and are on the same page when it comes to disagreeing - in the long run a lot of stuff just doesn't matter. That concept might entail a whole different post but I hope there's other people out there who have this same relationship with their lovers - I wish all of you do! Disagreeing and arguing isn't the end of it. Balanced compromise and love are fine solutions to disagreeing. Balance is so important. There's two on this team and we both share the load.

I love Love. I love us.

And really, who doesn't love dandelions?

Mindy Gledhill's song All About Your Heart goes perfectly with everything I feel about Stuart. It actually sparked this whole pondering of love off.

2010: A recap.

2010-12-24T13:12:00.001-07:00

2010 has been quite the year for us. It's been jammed packed with goings-ons and yet it's passed in what seems like the blink of an eye and with surprisingly few photos to show for it.

We ended 2009 with my older brother Andrew and his (then) girlfriend, Jenna. It was a fun, low key Christmas in California.

In January I started on the journey towards getting my degree in Graphic Design through an online school. Starting the year this way sets the tone for the rest of the year. Between Stuart's schooling and mine (and work) we've been kept really busy and try our best to reserve a few hours at night for each other. We're busy but progressing, which feels good. School has gone well for both of us and we can hardly believe I'll be done in 6 months and Stuart is almost halfway through his.

In March we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary and then I went home to Scotland for 7 weeks by myself. I had a bit of a health scare but everything turned out ok AKA I don't have ovarian cancer. Phew! Whilst home I continued with school online and learned a few non-school related lessons. It was a pretty special time and although I missed Stuart so much I cherish having those 7 weeks alone with my mum and dad. How many 5th-of-6 kids can say they've had that? Those 7 weeks are a blur in my mind already. The feelings of being there are still close to the surface though. It was 2 months of love, memories, travels, family, dinners, faith, tears, hurt, and some heart healing. Mostly, growth.

I got home to Stuart at the end of April - when I first visited him in 2003 I flew out on almost the same day. In May I went insane and cut my hair... myself. Somehow (luckily) it turned out really cute. In June we both had a couple of weeks off school so we had a roadtrip up to Oregon and enjoyed the break. I was able to score a few things off my life list, like seeing Paul Bunyan and visiting a ghost town.

In July, on Stuart's birthday we welcomed our newest niece and waited impatiently for 8 weeks for her to be named. Baby Nora is practically named after me... Laura... Nora... no? Ok fine. Either way she's a little golden haired angel baby who lives in Denmark and I love her. Hopefully we'll get to meet her in December 2012 if we get to Scotland for Christmas.

In August we took a couple of little trips to Capitola and Santa Cruz. In September we drove up to Seattle to take care of some business and enjoyed a day in Bremerton.

October and November flew by faster than anything else and here we are now, in December back in Seattle for Christmas. In October we started our diet and exercise routine and in November I turned 26.

One of the parts of 2010 that stand out to me is the creative outlet and friendships SHEnanigans has provided me. Amidst the hustle and bustle of school, work and housekeeping it's been a perfect little escape.

I hope 2010 has treated you all well and that 2011 brings you all the happiness and love you need.

Happy Christmas everyone!

How to make it feel like Christmas.

2010-12-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

I love Christmas and how it makes you long for familiarity. I love the feeling of Christmas, the spirit of it, if you will. No matter where I am Christmas means the same and the spirit feels the same but the traditions are different. I have an idea of how to make Christmas feel the best to me. I think everyone has a list of preferences when it comes to this time of year. There are traditions and triggers that fit my heart better than they might fit you. Immersing as many senses in the experience is what makes Christmas "effective" to me.

See: Christmas lights and sparkles on the tree, smiles, order, candle light, happy helpful hands, Christmas crafts...

Hear: Music and singing, laughter, stories, memories, my mum's knitting needles...

Taste: nibbles of Christmas treats aka "testing", hazelnut hot chocolate...

Smell: Spicy pumpkin, fresh baking, cinnamon and mint...

Feel: Warmth, comfort, love, peace, happiness and gratitude, home...

This year I'm seeking ways to take these feeling to the next level by breaking out of what I know works and supplementing them with new ideas. I never want to lose the feeling of Christmas amoungst the gift wrap and rushing around now that I've truly found it.

What are your Christmas essentials?

2010-12-16T18:51:00.001-07:00

Today we went into Seattle for a trip to Lush for Stuart to buy some stocking stuffers. Megan had never been before so it was quite the treat for her. We did a hand treatment and now have hands as soft as babies. Afterwards we went down to Pike Place and tested some jellies and saw a fish be thrown.

Here's the pictures:

It was such a good day!

2011: Goals.

2010-12-05T17:12:00.000-07:00

My goals for 2011 and Y26 are more business focused than my goals for "self actualisation" last year. I've been reading Craft inc: How to turn your Creative Hobby into a Business and getting my head wrapped around really setting up my own business venture and developing my own trademark pieces of graphics art. I have concepts, I have the skills, and I almost have the confidence and time.

My plan is to start small, continue with etsy or big cartel and continue to make some money here and there mostly pay off my student loans. Once I graduate in June I'll focus on building my inventory and concepts so by the time we leave California in 2012 I can start registering my business, trademark etc. We'll also hopefully be moving into a more permanent home where I'll have my own creative space.

The main thing I'm looking to work out for now is how to print my artwork - do I invest in the paper and printing apparatus and do it myself or do I order prints from elsewhere... I like the idea of being in control of every aspect of the business whilst I'm able to. I'd like to screenprint/letterpress/blockprint but don't have the space right now.

Oh the future is so exciting!!

Have you ever thought about starting your own business? What would you sell? Have you tried/done it?

Decclo: Black Friday

2010-11-26T12:57:00.002-07:00

Today you can get select tshirts - including my Jane Austen's Fight Club ones for $13 on www.DECCLO.com right now along with free US shipping using discount code "BLACKFRIDAY" at check out. Some are even $8!

Go get them!

The Prime.

2010-11-21T21:36:00.001-07:00

I'm in the prime of my life now and wish I'd realised it sooner rather than feeling eternally 17. Stuart and I were talking about how, right now we're at what we feel to be the peak of our lives. We're at a point where absolutely anything at all could happen - we could end up just about anywhere, doing just about anything. We have a few years left of this but once it's gone, it's gone. We don't imagine we'll ever be in the situation again where we has as few ties as we do right now. Because of this realisation I decided I'm going to try and look the way I imagined I'd look at this stage of my life. I like how I am. I really like my bodacious curves and I'm about 87% comfortable with my body. I want to try something different though.

I'm keeping all the numbers and embarrassing photos to myself until I reach my ultimate weight goal which I should reach by summer... actually by GRADUATION. Yep. It's like life is giving me such a treat by letting those two things happen at the same time. I'll unveil the photos when I reach my goal weight and everyone in the whole world will be encouraged. If Wii Fit ever does an infomercial like nutrasystem or Jenny Craig I might even go on that.

So far the weight loss has not been difficult. It's certainly a little more work but it's not been anything terrible, like I'd imagined it would be. Having Stuart joining me on the skinnying trip has helped a lot. I'd not have done it without him I don't think.

If you have goals you've been putting off I encourage you to work towards them NOW. Don't make excuses, find the motivation and just go for it. You really know you want to. If you leave it too late you'll regret it and there's nothing worse than that. You can do it. You CAN.

Today during an interview I was asked if I had achieved any of my dreams or goals within the last 5 years. I was so happy to say that, yes, I really have. Year 25 was so goal orientated and Y26 is going to take it to the next level. I have a serious zest for life.

The goal for Year 26 is to enjoy the view from the peak of my life.

To observe, change, and be. That is my motto for the year.

30 random things about ME.

2010-11-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged about 30 times with this sucker on facebook this week so I thought I'd put it on my blog which is linked to my facebook and kill 30 birds with one stone. Yeah!

1. I always read when I'm in the bath.
2. When I take a bath I'm in it for at least an hour and a half.
3. I have a tattoo on my face.
4. I'm sensitive.
5. I don't deal well with tension, it makes me cry or laugh. If I laugh it's so I don't cry.
6. I love candles.
7. The only time I've tasted alcohol was when a cup of it was poured on my head at a concert.
8. The first concert I went to was Green Day when I was 13. Thanks Scott.
9. I love facebook, especially on my birthday.
10. I have a phobia of things that are upside down. They really disturb me.
11. I also have a phobia of crossing the road. Sometimes I just close my eyes and run.
12. I don't recommend online school anymore.
13. It blows my mind how much I love Stuart. Sometimes when I look at him I can't even believe it.
14. I love seeing stuff. Seeing is my favourite.
15. I still get night terrors.
16. I love being surprised... but not by night terrors.
17. I can't go cross eyed because one eye won't do it. I only learned this recently.
18. I love working for Decclo because I love getting to talk to artists and other creative folks.
19. Sometimes I get into a fit of rage and complain about one thing over and over. Usually on boring days I do that.
20. My feet are always freezing cold but I like them like that.
21. I've lost a stone since I started eating and exercising 7 weeks ago.
22. I worry I'll get skinny and then want to dress immodestly. It must be a struggle being skinny.
23. I regularly tell Stu his fly is down, usually it's as a joke but usually it really is down.
24. I hate doing the dishes.
25. I love Robert Downey, Jr. If he ever asks me out to lunch I'm allowed to go.
26. I love to laugh but when I laugh too much I throw up.
27. I hope I look as good as my mum when I'm her age.
28. Stuart is very, extremely reserved but I can make him do anything for a laugh.
29. Sometimes I seem boring and rude because I'm quiet but I just like being quiet. Silence isn't uncomfortable for me.
30. Because of the night terrors I'm scared of dinosaurs and albino rabbits in real life.

I tried to end that on the most random thing I could think of. Don't use it against me as a weapon.

25: The end.

2010-11-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

25 ends for me on Friday. I was horribly nervous and absolutely distressed over the idea of being 25 for some reason. Maybe being in the absolute middle of my 20's made me realise some stuff... ok, no maybe about it, it really did.

First of all 25 is half way to 50. I think that's why (hopefully) people freak out about that age. It's also "The Prime" for most folk. It has been for me. It'll sound ridiculous to people older than me but I am a ridiculous person, I don't mind it being down hill from here. As in, down hill out of my prime and into whatever comes next. Middle aged? I'll tell you more about "The Prime" in another post. It's profound for me.

I started 25 with a friend who has come to mean more to me over the year and I'll be ending it with her here too. That's the kind of symbolism I really love. Another year passes, a new one begins and we're all on the journey together.

This year I've tried to be more conscious of my own milestones because I'm still growing up and those achievements still deserve to be celebrated even if I'm not 7 years old anymore.

Twenty-Five =

Family: Andrew was here for Christmas 2009. I had to go home to Scotland for 7 weeks. I also gained a new niece, lovely little Nora. Some bridges were also mended/strengthened this year. Some were weakened but there is always next year.

Roadtrips & New places: Santa Cruz, Capitola, Trees of Mystery/Paul Bunyan. Driving from here to Seattle - staying in hotels which is always the ultimate treat for me.

School: Majoring in Graphic Design, 6 months left. If it wasn't for one little B, I'd be a straight A student. I'm even putting my major to good use and making a little money here and there. I've become a little more disciplined and I quite like it... can't wait for it to be over though.

Decclo: Got completely involved in Decclo starting with a photo campaign and now working on advertising and marketing along with tshirt designs and daily interactions with some of the most talented people in the world.

Self awareness & acceptance: This is something that goes along with a post I'll do later about "My Prime" but I've learned a lot about myself this year. I'm a needy person but I'm also independant. I need to remember that it's ok to be like that. I'm not attention seeking, I sometimes just need to feel more approval to help me take steps forward. I'll expose the workings of my brain later. I also cut my own hair and have started losing weight in Y25.

Sleep habits: A while back I posted about how it was normal for me to wake up 4-7 times a night and how it would take me a couple of ours to first get to sleep and then another 45 minutes after waking up to get back to sleep. Well, in my 25th year I finally got my first whole nights sleep! I worked hard on this one and it paid off. I sleep almost all night every night now and sometimes I do sleep the whole night!

Infertility: A big milestone I reached this year is accepting the possibility of never having a child. Explaining those feelings and sharing them with others was a big step in accepting that.

SHEnanigans: Silly Girls went world wide and through my struggle of self awareness I turned into a monster. Luckily I've been forgiven and Silly Girls/SHEnanigans has grown and helped me whilst helping others. Is that cryptic? Probably. I'm pretty ashamed of myself sometimes and the whole cross over of Silly Girls to SHEnanigans is one of those times. I'm just glad it stayed wonderful even when I wasn't. Sorry again to one of the best examples to me, Megan...

Stuart: Basically he's the best part of me. On November 11th it was 7 years since he flew in to Scotland. On my birthday it'll have been 7 years since he proposed. This has been our first whole year living together just the two of us and it's been the best. I can tackle all my years, transitions and milestones as long as I have him with me. He makes each year more special and it's because of his encouragement that I make most of the progress that I do. Love him.

That's a recap of 25. It's been full of ups and downs but looking back it's the ups that I only really remember.

How is your year going? Have you made any progress in your goals? Have you realised your potential yet?

Do you need help or have any questions? Ask me.

Christmas music, why the hate?

2010-11-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

I'm prone to exaggeration and have a flair for the dramatics at times but let it be known that I am completely serious when it comes to the hot topic of Christmas music.

Right around Halloween there'll be comments, statuses, even texts questioning and sometimes even blatant aggravation concerning Christmas music being played "too early" because "it's not even Thanksgiving yet". Well, let me tell you I feel very strongly about such bah-hum-buggish attitudes.

Firstly, Christmas is about Jesus' birthday. Why on earth does that alone not make Christmas music "early" acceptable? Why are you getting so annoyed when the music is about Jesus?! These comments seem to come more from Christians, no less! It's like listening to hymns... except you can dance to them.

Secondly, when you think of Christmas does it not conjure up warm, happy, gleeful memories? Does it not make you think of your family and traditions, gifts and food? This is why I listen to Christmas music in June. Sue me. I love those memories.

Third, you are not going to get sick of Christmas music if you start hearing it in November. Honestly. There is SO much Christmas music out there (just look on my mp3 player) and if that was really a valid reason to not enjoy Christmas music before December you ought to be ashamed - and you ought to stop listening to the radio, cd's and everything because you'll get sick of Katy Perry and Justin Beiber too... that last one was pushing it, I know but some people really love Justin Beiber... I wonder if he'll do a Christmas album?

Fourth, when you gripe about Christmas music and how you don't want to hear it you really just sound like Scrooge. You're not spreading Christmas cheer for all to hear. It makes me genuinely sad.

ALSO, Thanksgiving and Christmas go hand in hand. How can you be so stuck on Thanksgiving and be cursing the Christmas music? That doesn't even make sense.

Lighten up, eh? It's Christmas! The most wonderful time of the year and the music only means it's getting closer. Accept it and love it! I will fight this one to the death. I really don't think there's a good, proper reason for Christmas music to only be played in December. There is no logic behind that idea. If you just embrace it you'll feel so much happier and I won't have to get all Christmas-Crazy on you.

Did you know any form of Christmas celebrations were banned in Scotland for 400 years and that if you were caught even baking a mince pie you could be punished by death? Christmas only became "legal" again in Scotland in the 1960's. I'm thankful to have Christmas to celebrate.

"Maybe Christmas", he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!" --- The Grinch even gets it.

Lest We Forget.

2010-11-11T10:28:00.004-07:00

Just one reason I'm proud to be a Stronach.

"I started work with J. Fairley in 1938 till 1939, when I got the chance to start work with a Foundery and Engineering Work called Campbell, Binnie,Reid and Co., in Burnbank, Hamilton. Where I got an Apprenticeship as a Fitter and Turner that would be in 1939 till 1942 when I joined the Army in the Y.M.C.A. building in Motherwell, had my Medical Examination received the King's (1s) Shilling, and was asked what Regiment I wanted to join and I asked for the Seaforth Highlanders my father's old Regiment, but there was no vacancies so had to accept the Black Watch Regiment, hence the Black Watch number 2767219. 

I was given a travel warrant to Perth Barracks where I went for initial training, arrived there on the 12th February 1942. In the summer of that same year the Battalion was doing Guard duties on the Royal Naval Air Stations. We had a Company at each Station, at Teeling, Arbroath, Donna = Bristal, Milnathorpe, Crail, with Headquarter Coy., at Monifieth and Broughty Ferry near Dundee.

It was a beautiful summer that year and when we were not on Guard Duties we were working on local Farms bringing in the Harvest. I was at Crail working with a Clydesdale horse with a Rick Lifter on a Farm during the day. When the Harvest was over we were all moved to Freckenham near Newmarket, in England for a short time, then we moved to Leigh-on-Sea farther south near London. It was from here that the Black Watch Battalion was Dissbanded and we were all sent as reinforcements to other Regements to prepare for the Normandy landings. It was from here I was posted to the 7th Battalion Seaforth Highlanders at Swarling in Northumberland on 18th December 1942 to 1943. From September 1943 to April 1944 in Queensbury Yorkshire. Then from April 1944 to June 1944 Hove Sussex, 26th June 1944 - 2nd July 1944 -- First Battle of the Odon.
7th July 1944 -- 22nd July 1944 -- Second Battle of the Odon.
23rd July, 1944 - 5th May, 1945
Caumont. Blerick.
Falaise. Nijmegen.
The Seine. Siegfried Line.
Courtrai. Cleve.
Albert Canal. Moyland.
Eindhoven. Schloss Kalbeck.
Best. The Rhine.
Helmond. Celle.
Asterwijk. (Oisterwyk) Unterluss.
Tilburg. Ulzen.
Liessel. The Elbe.
The Mass. Kiel Canal.
May, 1945 - March, 1946.
Laboe. Neungamme.
Wismar. Pinneburg. End."

From family history notes written by James Wiseman Stronach himself.

No NaBloPoMo.

2010-11-08T08:39:00.001-07:00

Y25 is almost over and I'm really excited for Y26. 25 began favorably and I think will end favorably too. So much has happened and I feel like I've really entered a new stage of my life... my prime maybe? Whatever it is it feels really good. More on that later, when I recap Y25 - I'll also explain why there have been no pictures around here.

It's a new day, a new week, a fresh start and I hope it's great for you.

Fun stuff on Etsy: 2010

2010-11-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year when I immerse myself in etsy. Here's a smattering of what I've been seeing.

Paipaioppai has a really cute selection of slouchy beanies.

by Paipaioppai

For $50 from Truche you can get a super sweet, sentimental necklace like this one of the UK which I adore - if I got it I'd want the heart to be in Scotland though... on the east coast.

by Truche

ParadaCreations has a lot of super sweet artwork. This is one of my faves.

by ParadaCreations

Everything Keky is absolutely me. This Vanilla Cupcake is a fave:

by Keky

And I think this one is actually of me...

by Keky

Pretty felt hair bands in a multitude of colours by SafiyaAlyse.

by SafiyaAlyse

I might be keen on unicorns and mustaches... (jujulee)

Tri-fold business card holder keyring thingers from CassyLainTotes

Charmdesign's lovely shoulder bags and zipper pouches of which there are too many amazing fabrics to even choose from...

And that is all for tonight.

Don't forget if you want custom Christmas cards let me know. I do have an etsy of my own.

Restless in Hayward

2010-11-02T10:00:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling all sorts of restless right now. It's finals week and I just can't be bothered. I keep thinking "Only 6 more weeks, Laura. Six more weeks until you get a break"... 4 weeks break in a year is not enough. I don't even get weekends off school. I'll be done for good in 6 months. No amount of pressure or encouragement is going to get me to go back (to this school) to get my bachelors degree. I'll save my griping about that for another post.

This Document Design class has been more useful than I care to admit though. If you need a poster created, I'm your girl. The main thing I've learned is that there's really no place in the world for centre aligned text. So stop writing your blogs in that format. I didn't agree with the statement the first 12 times I heard it but now I do. Centre alignment is not balanced, you just think it is but it really isn't... does it sound like I'm trying to avoid class today?

In other news we just launched a design contest over at Decclo which raises funds for Surfers Healing, a foundation for autism. If you know of anyone with graphic design skills please, please, please pass this info along. They're completely non-profit and need to raise $10,000 every year to run their surf camp and we want to help out as much as possible - plus for the two winning designers it's going to be really good exposure. The Paskowitz family that run the camp are being featured on the New Oprah Network in January, just sayin.

Get contest info here. Share our facebook status, retweet us and all that good stuff.
And if you have any questions at all, let me know. I'll do anything to encourage anyone to join in with this!

NaNoBloPo Again!?

2010-11-01T10:02:00.001-07:00

Is it really that time of year again? I think I'm going to struggle with this month a lot with my finals this week and all the other hard work and mischief I'm up to.

Today is good though because today is UPLOAD DAY over at Silly Girls United. We did a twofer theme for September and October - one theme done Pretty then Scary. You can go see (and comment on) the photo shoots here. And feel free to join in with us. I love it when you join in! Themes are posted for the remainder of this year and for the whole of next year on the SHEnanigans blog. If you have any questions about it ask me. I really want everyone to join in with these. They're more fun than you can even imagine. If you're near a group already made up they'll happily welcome you. I promise.

Here's a few pictures to tempt you even more... because I know you need tempted even more.

Join in! Check out Silly Girls Photography on facebook for general info and Silly Girls United for all the uploaded pics.

PS. I'm going to be in Seattle for a large part of December, if there's any Sillies there looking to be a part of this let me know - there's already some groups up that way too.

Celebrate the end of the week...

2010-10-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

with some self portrait SHEnanigans!

More here.

what do you say, Et-say?

2010-10-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

I'm planning on listing some Christmas photo cards in my etsy this week and need some opinions. I think I'll list 5 or so designs. Tell me which ones you like the best. Some have different colour options and can have more pictures put on them.

Chevron Christmas

Christmas Carni

Snow Flakes

Candy canes

bunch of baubles

scallops

Wreathly Happy Christmas

Frosty

Merry and Bright

Baubles

Framed

squares

swirlsome

Star beams

What do you think?

2010-10-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

San Francisco to Seattle

2010-10-05T16:09:00.001-07:00

Here's the video from our trip up to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. I'm glad we won't be driving that again anytime soon.

San Fran to Seattle. 2010 from Laura Stronach on Vimeo.

I need to wear a tshirt over my swimsuit next time we play with the underwater Flip case. Eesh.

Food stuff.

2010-10-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

We've done really good this week eating healthier. Mushrooms are becoming our meat substitute - we've had mushroom burgers twice this week and another time I sautéed a big portobello with some onion and tossed it in with our first spaghetti squash experience. Heaven!

Tonight we had Stuffed Mushroom burgers and sweet potato and yam fries. Here's the gist of how to make that -

2 portobello mushrooms
half a block of cream cheese
1 small onion, finely diced
garlic
buffalo/hot sauce
extra virgin olive oil

Put cheese in a bowl and allow to soften.
Pull stocks off mushrooms and finely dice.
Sauté with the onions
Put some oil in a baking dish to coat with some garlic.
Turn the mushrooms in the garlicy oil in the pan and set flat side up.
Mix sauteed mushroom stalk and onion with cream cheese, add a little garlic if you fancy it and a splash of hot sauce.
Put the cream cheese mixture onto the mushrooms, squish it down and put a splash of buffalo sauce on top.

Bake at 350'f for 45 minutes or until juices run clear from the mushrooms.
Serve between bread with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and a little mayo - then drop the open jar of mayonnaise on the floor for good measure like I did. It's versatile, you can change any of these things ingredients to suit yourself.

That's it.

Stuart just said to me, "I feel like I'm losing weight". I have to agree, just after a week of healthy eating and exercising I feel like I'm getting healthier. It feels nice!

I've been getting a good bit of freelance design work lately and was able to buy Wii Fit without feeling guilty about it. We had used Stuart's mum's wii fit two years ago so all our info was stored in it and updated when we used our one yesterday. I put on 10lbs in 2 years... that's not bad! I won't tell you how much Stuart put on though. He's been crying about it all weekend.

Week one of healthy eating is done with no troubles. Week two here we come!

The story of Stuart & Laura

2010-10-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

I think I've shared the how-we-met-story here before and if not the whole story there's most likely bits and pieces of it scattered around.

The story starts in September 2002. I was 17, almost 18. There was a lot going on in my life. I had just graduated high school. I was working for my dad running his ebay venture and trying to work out what to do and where I wanted to be for the rest of my existence. Beki, my little sister had just turned 15 and was about to become my best friend. She had also just found out she was 3 months pregnant with Cameron - the cause of our sudden best friendness.

Looking back I realise I was at the biggest fork in the road of my life I'd ever stand at. Anything could have happened. I could have ended up anywhere, doing anything. What happened in September 2002 is pretty much what made me who I am now and shaped my entire life from then on.

With all the confusion and craziness going on with my family's situation and trying to find myself I somehow found myself emailing an American boy one rainy Saturday morning. I think I was really just looking for someone who didn't know anything about what was going on - someone who wouldn't ask what I was doing with my life or what my little sister was going to do with her life and the one in her womb. I didn't want to witness any more judging or condemning concerning that. It was also a pretty lonely time, with everyone's attention elsewhere.

I had found Stuart's hotmail profile and saw he was the same religion as me. I emailed him and asked if he knew where he was going on his mission and that was it. I didn't hear from him until a week later. His reply was short and seemed slightly rude. He answered my question and that was all; he didn't know where he was going. I didn't reply.

A few days later I received another email from him apologising. He thought I was one of a number of other Laura's he knew. He replied properly and hoped to hear from me again. And he did. Within a couple of months he started to phone me every Sunday and my schedule was arranged around chatting to him on msn as often as possible. We emailed every day and although we didn't seem to have that much in common we were still interested in each other. Compatibility at it's finest. Not having that much in common gave us a lot to talk about and still does although we're more similar to one another than we were then.

I started applying for my passport and saving up so I could visit him. I had scraped together enough money when a huge gas bill came in and needed paid. The bill was enormous and unexpected so there was no money set aside to pay for it. I handed over my plane ticket money to help pay it off. Stuart had been working hard for a company laying AstroTurf and saving up to go on his mission. He'd been working so much overtime he had a pretty healthy savings account which he assured me had plenty in it and he wanted to buy my ticket so I could still visit. I promised to repay him. It felt right.

I remember standing in the livingroom pitching the idea to my mum and dad because Stuart wouldn't buy the tickets if it wasn't ok with them. I can still see exactly where we were all standing, the light coming in the window and the look on my dad's face. My dad was strongly opposed. My heart dropped and I thought that was the end of it, there's not much point in ever arguing with my dad and I understood where he was coming from - he was doing his part to protect me - but I was still sad. The next couple of years were rich with lessons for me of how much my dad loves me. With a firm, "no" from him and a sigh from me, I heard (and still can) my mum's sweet voice, "Weeell..." she said, drawn out in a way that you just know something good is coming, anyone who knows my mum will know how this is, your ears perk up and her smile appears after she's finished, "Weeeell... I was 19 when I first went to America. This is an opportunity she'll never have again. An adventure."

And just like that my dad's mind was changed. Tickets were purchased and sent to me in the post. In April 2003 Cameron was born, I was flying for the first time, leaving the UK for the first time, alone and responsible in a brand new way.

It all happened 8 years ago and my mum was right, it's been a once in a lifetime adventure.

Love-iversary

2010-09-29T22:34:00.002-07:00

This week marks 8 years since I sent that first fated email to my Lover-buns, Stuee.

Yep.

Picture taken December 2003

Is anbody in the mood for a story?

Colour me Laura

2010-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

I love colour. I love making colour combinations. I save random pictures that catch my eye because of the colours and then I make up swatches and save them so I can look at them later and use them for projects or if I'm glum. Colour cheers me up. I was putting together a swatch of colours for a job I was doing yesterday and I thought maybe there's some other colour addicts out there who would appreciate seeing what colours I'm nom'ing on right now. If you have any favourite combo's of your own I want to see them too.

There's definitely a pattern going on but those are my favourite combo's right now. If you're an addict or looking for perfect combinations you should check out Design Seeds. It's a feast for the eyes! Heaven!

I AM a graphic designer!

2010-09-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Remember the Jane Austen's Fight Club video that hit the web a few months ago and remember how I'm involved in Decclo? Well, when I saw the JAFC video I immediately thought that the concept would be really cool on tshirts... I work for an apparel company... Perfect!

The Decclo website (www.Decclo.com) just officially launched yesterday (YAY!) after a year of extremely hard work and I'm excited to say that I was able to design the first batch of official JAFC tshirts we have for sale. They're approved by the Fight Club girls who will be adding a couple more designs to the collection too. Get over and take a look! I'd appreciate any help at all in getting the word out about this, like I said it's be a year of super hard work and sleepless nights!

I've added an official Jane Austen's Fight Club apparel button over on my right sidebar you can grab and share on your blog if you feel so inclined.

Meatless in St. Louis.

2010-09-28T08:38:00.001-07:00

Day one of the "diet" went fine. I went to bed a bit hungry though since along with cutting back junk food and trying to eat raw I need to eat and drink a bit more to feel satisfied.

We weren't stocked up with anything so I threw together the first recipe on the list, the peanut coconut tofu without the tofu... actually just with potatoes and mushrooms. It was quite tasty. I'll make it with more veg next time though, it was missing a lot of flavour since all it had was mushrooms and potatoes in it....

Today I'll be starting my day with a bowl of porridge - before it gets too hot outside, holy moly! It was 35 degrees celsius yesterday, that's in the 90's in Fahrenheit. When it gets cooler I'm going to start up my morning workouts again - Bollywood Burn, anyone?

Um, yep. This post is nothing interesting, it's more like a note to myself so I'll remember when I started this meatless madness.

I hope you're all well. If any of you want to join in my recipe blog community leave me your email address here and I'll add you as an author. There's just over 20 contributing recipe sharers on it right now.

Lauratarian.

2010-09-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Stu's younger sister, Megan is on an elimination diet right now. She eats super basic foods and then after a couple of weeks will add one new food in and eat it a few times in the week before adding something else in, in order to work out what it is she's eating that's upsetting her stomach.

We were visiting them last week and I was super impressed with her will power but not so impressed with the lack of selection she had to eat seeing as she can barely eat anything. I'm now curious to see how Stuart and I could do on a strict, healthy diet. We're going to try and be vegetarian for a couple of weeks, as in we're only going to eat vegetables. We're cutting out junk food too and as much as possible, sugar. Our aim is to go back to basics. I'm excited but nervous about it to be honest since my idea of a meal is meat and two veg. We're both aware that we eat far too much rubbish, we also want to support Megan in her challenge and get into the habit of eating more veg - going full steam ahead like this doesn't give us much opportunity to break the rules, that's what I need. I'm not undisciplined enough otherwise.

I'm going to try and utilise the slow cooker, that should work good for soups... ?... I have no idea what I'm doing. Help? I'm pretty much just pulling recipes of CuisineNie. If all else fails there's always salad, right? Why is the idea of being healthy so scary?!

Here's some ideas we have so far:
Black bean burgers here
Sugar and Spice sweet potatoes here
Banana bread for a treat/snack here
Spaghetti Squash confetti here
Corn and Cheese custard here
Portobellos with leeks and feta here also Portobello burgers anyone? NOM!

Along with those things I'm looking forward to steamed carrots, soft boiled potatoes (a super fave!), cucumber, smoothies...

We shall see.

It's that Etsy time of year again...

2010-09-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

I reeeally really look forward to the day I can decorate my own house. You know this already. You also know a couple of months before Christmas I go Etsy mad! Here's some cute vintage stuff I've been finding lately.

Vintage Humpty Dumpty light switch cover from Shuggabea.

Vintage Space Needle plate from CosyStudio

Vintage mirrored vanity tray from RosePetale99

Vintage Beatrix Potter bib clip from ViolasVintage

Vintage file box from SleepyOwlVintage

Vintage movie camera from ZebrasAndBubblegum

I got distracted by vintage cameras and never finished my list...

So silly.

2010-09-21T09:40:00.001-07:00

Do you want to hear something ridiculous? It's a bit of a confession really.

When I read certain blogs I feel lost and little, um... unsuccessful? Insecure? It makes me wonder why I'm not in a position to travel, to buy lovely clothes and house decor, to have super cute babies or a puppy. It's weird I feel like that because counting my blessings I have everything I need and more and I'm actually very successful. The fruits of my labours isn't the number of blog followers I have or number of things I own from expensive shops - those might be yours and that's absolutely fine. I have dreams that have come and are coming true, those other things aren't my dreams. The number of my blessings is the number of times in a day Stuart tells me he loves me multiplied by the number of odd socks in our laundry basket... plus a bajillion.

Year 25 is coming to a close and I'm getting my Year 26 goals in order. Realising my potential and my success is going to be one of them.

That is all. Y26 is only going to be onward and upward from where Y25 ends.

Ferry far...

2010-09-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

We took the ferry over to Bremerton yesterday for a Team Decclo reunion with Jake and Rachel, or Rake and Jakel if you're talking to Stuart. It was such a nice sunny, bright day and it was really good to get together with the Fry's and catch up in person rather than our usual ten-hundred emails a day.

I wore a skirt yesterday which made the ferry trip quite an adventure. More pictures of the Decclo part of the day will be posted over on the Decclo blog soon.

As a heads-up to anyone looking to make some money through designing tshirts, this is your last chance to have direct feedback from myself on any designs you submit - I work with designers to make their designs pretty much guaranteed to be printed. The site is going to launch very soon and designs will be submitted through the site. I won't be able to give feedback to everyone so if you're desperate to be an artist, tshirt designer get your designs in to me fast. ;)

Our ode to summer.

2010-09-15T11:09:00.002-07:00

Our summer. 2010. from Laura Stronach on Vimeo.

This week.

2010-09-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

To Stuart,
This week.

You and me.
Roadtrip.
A hotel in Portland.
Swimming.
A burger from our fave burger place.
Can't wait!

Love you.
Laura
x

Remember when I used to blog ALL the time? Yeah, me too. That was back when I used to do stuff. I don't really have much to say these days. I'm pretty content and pretty busy doing non-bloggish things. I read blogs daily though and see so much fun stuff going on - the existence of babies being announced, babies arrivals, couples traveling the world, new jobs, new businesses, new homes, marriages... It's all really exciting, plus I have a lot of talented friends making those babies and decorating those new homes!

I think I'm going through a phase. No babies, no travels, no adventures. I lie when I say no adventures though. I can always find an adventure. I'm content and that's quite the adventure for me.

I tried to force a blog post out at the start of the week but never finished it because I didn't like reading it. It sounded like I was trying too hard. I guess having time for those thoughts to simmer and settle gave me time to really believe myself.

My adventure is that I'm content. I like where I am right now. I am loooving life with Stuart, which I always do BUT my heart is gushing (gross!) with fondness and glee when I think about him. In a few days we'll have reached the anniversary of our first whole year living together, just the two of us. But you've been married forever, you say. Why yes, you are correct. Our marriage is just over 6 and a half years old. We spent thirty three of our seventy-something month old marriage living with other family members. This is our first whole year together - minus my 7 weeks in Scotland. Twelve months in a little rented house, on new turf for the both of us and surviving. That's an adventure! 25 has been good to me!

I'm still around, still drivers licenseless, still childless, still dealing with chronic back pain day in day out. I'm happy though. I'm learning a lot.

Happy New YOU!

2010-08-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

It's not my birthday yet BUT I've just been thinking about Year 25 and the goals I set for myself to aid my quest in self-definition. I dedicated year 25 to becoming who I want to be and who I thought I'd be at this age. To do that I've started school and I'm getting a degree and feeling quite clever along the way. I wear skirts almost every day, becoming more feminine whilst I'm at it. I'm thinking about my future and growing up. I'm cultivating my talents and putting them to good use through a few different avenues. I'm out of bed by 7am every morning, which is really a bigger deal than you think. And a few other things too.

The year has gone really fast and I don't know if it's because I'm 25 and time speeds up all of a sudden or if it's because I'm actually doing stuff with my time? I'm seeing positive changes in my life thanks to all my attainable goals. I'm enjoying getting to know myself.

Every birthday I'm going to dedicate the following year to new self-defining goals and I encourage you to also. New Years resolutions are one thing but your own personal New Year starts at your birthday. I love that.

video ketchup

2010-08-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

Oakland Temple from Laura Stronach on Vimeo.

Lost Boys on the Beach, Santa Cruz 2010 from Laura Stronach on Vimeo.

Capitola, California from Laura Stronach on Vimeo.

Sunshineday.

2010-08-22T18:24:00.001-07:00

What a weird week. School has me super busy and on top of that I've been creating backgrounds and templates for cards, announcements, invitations etc. - trying to put my skills to good use and to start earning some money. I don't know how I'm getting half the stuff done that I am. Most of all I don't know where I'm getting the brain power to do it. My hard work has been paying off - even if my health has been failing.

On Saturday we were planning on heading into San Francisco for a surprise party. As I was plugging the address into the gps on Saturday afternoon I discovered the party was on Friday. Then on Saturday night I asked Stuart to check the dates for our town Zucchini Festival because I really wanted to go. It had been that day. Bah!

Today because I've not been feeling well and don't know if I'm contagious or not we didn't go to church but we went out for some fresh air up at the temple.

More pictures here.

Graphic design lady.

2010-08-19T19:17:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about my future as a graphic designer and since it's an occupation that covers such a wide range of things - basically everything you see on your computer, in magazines, on billboards, flyers and on and on and on...

I started with some postcard designs which turned out really nice, if I do say so myself, and then I put together a selection of birth announcements and party invitations. Whilst I was doing that I remembered how Stuart's been harping on at me to create my own digital scrapbooking backgrounds for the last 5 years. So I did. Yesterday I created some, today I created some more and gave myself a blog makeover. I'm pleased with the outcome.

Blogger isn't letting me upload right now so you can see them over on my Sugar Grenade Photography facebook page.

I'm excited to be expanding my awesomeness and really like the direction I seem to be going in.

Capitola

2010-08-07T20:19:00.002-07:00

Being in serious need of a day out we headed down to Capitola to fill our bellies full of salty air and to explore some more of the coast. We should have left at 10am but someone thought leaving at noon would be better. Someone was wrong and someone else was right. The drive down was extremely stressful for the someone who was wrong. Once we got to Capitola though we were in heaven.

It's a safe bet that we're going to be going back there again - probably midweek, less traffic. We both really enjoyed strolling around and looking in all the little shops. There's a lot of surf shops there - including the original O'neill surf shop in Santa Cruz. I was going to pick up a wetty (30% off) for my dad from the big Billabong shop in an attempt to lure/bribe him here to visit me.

For such a quick visit we had really enjoyed it. I can imagine myself living there but I don't know that Stuart would go for it.

We picked up a few postcards and consequently I inspired myself. My perfect career would involve travelling, photography and graphic design. I'm going to try my hand at being a postcard designer! Perfect.

See more pictures here.

Update: Year 25

2010-08-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

I made some goals for my 25th year to help me become who I want to be. It's not over until November BUT hello, it's August!!? Whaaa?

One of my goals was to become less "grungy" or laidback in my appearance. I am a tshirt and jeans kind of girl, always have been but I'd never tried to be anything else. I'd never worn a skirt on a day that didn't begin with "Sun". The concept was foreign to me really. I wanted to try it out.

Wearing a skirt on days that don't begin with "Sun" means taking better care of yourself ie. shaving your legs more that twice a month. Taking better care of myself was another goal so that was a two-fer. The only skirts I owned at the start of Year 25 were Sunday skirts, not really suitable for dressing down although I have the ability to make anything look casual, even when I don't want to. I got my first casual skirt from Downeast Basics on sale and I loved it. Still do but it's getting a bit worn and the thread from the tiers snapped so there's holes in it I need to sew up.

I added two Old Navy linen skirts to the collection and then two maxi dresses from Target and a summer dress. I've hardly worn anything but skirts all summer and I like it!

That alone has made Year 25 quite the success.

The day of births

2010-07-19T10:57:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Mr Adams birthday. We celebrated mostly on Friday because I wanted him to have good full birthday weekend. He came home to a festively decorated living room and some presents. The celebration continued on Saturday by going to the cinema to see Inception, treating ourselves to some fresh doughnuts and eating at a Mexican Restaurant.

On Sunday he (we) got the best present of all. A brand new niece! Emma had baby Wiggles at 10pm in Denmark. The little blondie baby is still un-named but weighed a nice 7lbs 2oz. Mum, dad and baby are all doing well. Yesterday was the most exciting day we've had in a long time! I'm so happy and excited for Emma and Niels. By the end of the night I didn't know if I was more excited for Emma or for my mum! Due to the volume of Stronach's occupying Facebook the excitement has been spread world wide. What a blessing this new baby is - and what a blessing technology is too where pictures can be shared in an instant!

United in Silly!

2010-07-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I can't let this go without saying how pleased, happy, proud, excited and gleeful I was and still am with how the Silly Girls United event went. It ran pretty smoothly and a lot of girls I've never even met joined in. I sent a lot of emails to spread the word about the event and got a lot of positive feedback - the most positive of feedback always comes from the girls who take part. I've loved, loved, LOVED seeing all the images and reading all the comments all the girls have been leaving each other. So many compliments and praise along with encouragement and cheerful have been spread.

Along with the growth of Silly Girls we got a new name and a makeover. Silly Girls is now Shenanigans. I'm so grateful to Megan for putting her camera in my hands. I can't think of anything as life changing as that since I got married. The effect of having that camera in my hands has been immense.

I am so happy that so many girls got involved and that some joined groups with girls they hadn't even met before. I'm just amazed and so glad they became friends who want to do another shoot soon! You can read their experience here.

The next event category is being voted on right now on the Shenanigans blog and will be a bit different. The category that wins is the overall theme. Each group with be given a secret genre they'll shoot. When they upload everyone can guess what their narrowed down theme was.

Due a little mistake we ended up with 2 themes for the shoots. Here's pictures of each group. You can go see the rest on the facebook page.

The Omega Force

Colorado Colourfuls

Bright in Othello

Spotty in Salem

Secret Agents in Everett

Sassy in South Carolina

And me.

Go take a gander at them all over on facebook then get your friends together to join in our next one!

A little uplift.

2010-07-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get super busy and focus so hard on tasks that you lose sight of where you're at here and now? Yes, me too. School is going good. This new block is the first of my actual graphic design classes. You'll be glad to know know I got two A's last block - the block from Heeeeell. Because I know Stuart can't help me out with this one class I'm doing over time trying to get it all straightened out in my head - I'm actually over complicating it because there's nothing I don't already know already so far. At the moment it's kind of an intro to Photoshop and I've been at that for years.

I'm also working hard recruiting artists for Decclo. The shop will be launched some time. I won't even guess as to when because we were almost ready to launch before but decided to redesign it. Our NEW business model gives me serious goosebumps and I'm SO excited about it. I've learned a lot being part of this creative start-up company. I just love it. I love every aspect of Decclo now that we've stepped it up. If you haven't been over to the blog lately go check it out. My photography is going to good use and we have a new summer tee design. If you know any artists looking to add something really cool to their resume send them our way. Also if you're looking to get anything screenprinted - for camps, family reunions, sports games, anything check out the Crux tab at the top and contact Jake.

I've been dizzied up in school and Decclo and also photography - any Silly Girls want to join in the Shenanigans? The next category theme is up for voting on right now.

With all the busy stuff going on it's important to take a little time out to catch up a favourite blog (Chloe) and watch the litter of kitten play in the back garden.

Is there anything more relaxing that watching baby animals?

The end.

2010-07-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

In 2007 Stuart and I were able to go home to Scotland for a few weeks. Both my sisters were getting married (not to each other) and we were very lucky to get home for it. Whilst there we took a lot of video which never made it onto the computer for a while. When it did there was a problem with the program we used for editing that wouldn't let us edit or even watch it...

Today I fiddled about with the new software and rediscovered the old files. This is one little Cameron classic that makes me laugh every time.

Storytime with Cameron. from Laura A on Vimeo.

Go ahead and tell me how much cuter it is when he talks than it is when I do. I completely understand.
There'll be more of these to come.

This one is from 2005 and you've probably already seen it on facebook. Beki and Cameron came to stay with us when we were in Idaho and this is the kind of nonsense we got up to. Stronach's can make a game out of anything, as you'll notice. I wouldn't mind going back to those days. Not one bit.

Beki and Cameron 2005 from Laura A on Vimeo.

Little gems

2010-07-07T18:49:00.001-07:00

I won't get into it but lately I've been getting frustrated with some friendships. I discovered a few little videos I apparently made and forgot about. They remind me that even though things change and sometimes the goodness doesn't last there's still good times to remember and memories to be made - one bonus of always taking loads of photos is I can remember a lot ;)

I posted these on facebook but here they are again. I'm going to make some more because of how happy they make me :) These times are worth remembering.

Hey, Doll Face! from Laura A on Vimeo.

3 Hippy Girls from Laura A on Vimeo.

Here kitty kitty kitty!

2010-07-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

On Thursday Stuart spotted something frolicking in our back garden as he was setting up the bbq. He called me out quite excitedly.

What is that?

It melted my ice cold heart, that's for sure!

Two little black kittens and one white and ginger one but the two little black ones have come back and were playing out there again today.

I don't even like cats!

I'll have eaten one by the end of the week I'm sure. They're just too cute.

Lost Boys (and girl)

2010-07-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

Seeing Lost Boys in Santa Cruz on the beach was on the summer list right from the start and I thought it was on a Friday BUT it wasn't! It was on a Wednesday. Yesterday. This discovery was made yesterday at 11am. Corey Feldman's band was playing at 6pm and then the film started at 9. We took our time leaving, stopped at Taco Bell for a quick cheap dinner then went to find parking. We got to the beach and got a good spot. Right up until 10 minutes before the film it was a good spot. Two lovers came in with big chairs and plopped themselves down right in front of us. I could see if I looked right between them. Part way through the film the scooted closer together. When they smooched their heads took up the whole screen. I was irked. Stuart could see if he sat at the other end of our blanket. Romantic.

There were hundreds and hundreds of people there and I have to admit it felt pretty surreal sitting there watching Lost Boys as scenes of where we were sitting played on the screen in the film. It was weird.

I like what Stuart captured in this shot...

Corey Feldman is on the stage to the right of the screen. I'm glad he enjoys his music...

It was heaven when the sun was up but when the sun went down...

We got some garlic fries to keep the vampires away. Who knew they kept lovers aways too?

Oh Santa Cruz, you're not that far and I really love you. I'm hoping these pictures will have enticed family to visit. I'm also trying to convince Stuart that we should live there. I'm already marketing his Surfer's Chiropractic office in my head... I'm not even kidding and if you steal my idea I'll get Keifer Sutherland on you.

The Decclo version.

2010-06-29T21:58:00.001-07:00

Here's the Decclo version of our trip.

A Decclo Roadtrip from Decclo on Vimeo.

Mum's the word.

2010-06-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

When we went to the coast and stopped at the gardens I walked over to the pond and was shocked. Shocked to death! There was a woman sitting looking at the pond... and she looked exactly like my mum from the back.

Look.

See?

I was freaked out.

Zoo'd.

2010-06-25T10:49:00.005-07:00

We took the long road home from our trip and stopped every now and then. We even found a zoo that had $1 Wednesday's and took full advantage and I was attacked by a giant turkey for about half an hour straight.

We found a tree to crawl through.

The trip home was much longer than the trip to Oregon but it was a lot of fun and much more scenic than the other way.

Dear Claire...

2010-06-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

I saw this little fountain on my travels and thought of you. It isn't very big and probably doesn't have any historical significance but it was lovely. I love the shape of it and seeing little pennies that had been tossed into it added to it's magic. Fountains give people hope and make them wish things.

Love,

Laura

Big Guys.

2010-06-24T10:36:00.001-07:00

I love kitsch, weird stuff. This is my new love.

Paul Bunyan and Babe...

Oregon Shenanigans.

2010-06-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

We hung out a lot on our holiday which was perfect. We went to the coast one day. I love the sea. Heaven. That's all I really have to say about that, eh?

The trail started at the sea and went through some forrestyness and into some gardens where Megan and I crashed a wedding.